Evangelion Knight
by J0ekerr
Summary: Shinji Ikari made a solemn promise when he saw his parents murdered before his eyes in a dark alley thirteen years ago. But can he really uphold it?
1. Prologue

Prologue

Darkness shrouded the approach of the three silent figures, moving like phantoms, gliding like black quicksilver through the few patches of gloomy light they could not avoid, then fading back into the shadows. They moved without hurry or hesitation, their fluid gentle movements, easily mistaken for a fleeting shadow or a gust of wind. A would be observer, gazing straight at their path would have been hard-pressed to differentiate them from their surroundings.

They reached the house and with expert motions, disconnected the alarm and entered through a window. Making their way soundlessly to the living room of the two story house, there they waited until they confirmed the soft sounds of snoring from upstairs.

One of them said 'We all know our orders, however there has been a last minute change of plans.' His tone was commanding and full of authority, obviously the team's leader.

Another member of the trio expressed his concern at this sudden news, while the third one remained silent. 'How so?' he asked.

'The mission has changed, this is not an extraction anymore, we're here to provide cleanup.'

'Cleanup?'

'Yes.'

'That is not what I was told, I didn't agree to an assassination.'

'It appears the target is worth more dead than alive, and this is less hassle for us too, does this pose a problem for you, "pup"?'

'I do, I don't like unexpected sudden changes in the middle of a mission. Do you have confirmation of this?'

'Yes, why would you trust me?' The first man replied sardonically. 'Don't worry pup I have the proof right here.' He reached into a belt pouch and took out a small scroll of paper which he handed over to be examined.

'It's genuine, stamped by the council of elders. It confirms you were telling the truth.'

'Yes.'

'And you've known about this since before we set foot in the country.' it wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.

'Indeed.'

'This complicates things then.'

'Yes, I thought it would.'

'I won't allow you to kill this man.'

Despite the sky-mask, the leader's face practically glowed with the wolfish smile that appeared in it. 'Does that mean, that you are refusing to follow a direct order issued by the council of elders of the Iga ninja?'

'If that order is to murder someone, yes.'

'Then I brand you a traitor to the clan and declare your life forfeit as of this very moment.'

From stillness, the movement seemed to explode. The room was suddenly filled with the sound of swords being drawn from their scabbards and steel blades striking each other. They fought with the shadows, using the darkness against each other, the glint of light on their blades the only telltale of their movements.

Then, the silence was broken by the leader's gloating voice. 'I'm actually elated about this whole situation, I had no idea why they were drafting me of all people to babysit you. Then right before we leave, the council summons me and tells me they're unsure about your loyalty and they've accepted a counter-offer on the target to test it. Well you obviously failed that one, and now I get to kill you myself.' He paused for a moment savouring the next words in anticipation. 'You have no idea how happy that makes me.'

A parry and a grunt was the only reply.

'What's this? Too busy brooding to talk? How surprising!' his voice was thick with sarcasm. 'Don't worry, soon you will be silent forever. Maybe you should say something while you still can. Leave some famous last words? Or you could plead for mercy. But if not, that's okay too. Why don't you show me what Kamogawa's pet can d—OOOF!'

Another parry was followed by a sudden side step, then a knee dug itself deep into the side of the talkative fighter, with enough force to lift him off his feet, his attacker then spun on his heels and dug his elbow into his former leader's face, effectively shutting him up and throwing him like a ragdoll. The stoic fighter then turned to the third man in their party.

"Fukuda, you don't have to do this." He said gently, almost pleading, but there was no fear in that voice, only concern.

"Yes I must, it is our way, we are bound to the clan by a vow of obedience. You have broken that vow.'

A slight bow acknowledged Fukuda's argument, there was no need to say anything else. They lunged at each other, silently. The only sound coming from them was that of their swords as they hit each other. Then there was a grunt of pain, and as a hand loosened its grip on its blade, a boot hit it from the side, sending it away. There was a slash, a cry of pain barely suppressed through gritted teeth. And Fukuda, now wounded in one leg stumbled, right onto a foot hitting him squarely in the centre of his solar plexus. The kick knocked the wind out of him and threw him against the wall behind him. The impact against the hard surface robbing him of consciousness. As he fell, Fukuda managed to say one thing before passing out.

'Not pup, but wolf now.'

The victor bowed to his downed opponent and whispered; 'I'm sorry Fukuda.'

It wasn't over yet and he knew it. He tightened his grip on his sword, readying himself to face his prior opponent. Only to find him at the top of the stairs leading the second floor, holding a knife to a girl's throat. She seemed to be about twelve and her knees shook with terror. The girl's parents were lying prone on the floor.

'Bastard, I guess there's a bit of truth to Kamogawa's boasting about you. But I don't really have to fight you. If you're dumb enough to sign your own death sentence over a worthless political dissident. Then I can use them as leverage. Now drop the sword.'

There was only a second's hesitation before the weapon was thrown away as ordered, with a voice like the wind blowing between ancient gravestones he said.

"Let her go, or you shall discover what pain truly means."

An involuntary chill ran up the spine of the man holding the knife to the little girl's neck, but that was all. He smiled under his sky-mask, a sick hateful smile.

"You know how to make threats pup. That much I'll give you. But I don't think you will. In fact I think you will let me kill you, or you will get to see how I slit this girl's throat. Throw away the belt too, I don't want to find out firsthand what Kamogawa's famous bag of tricks are, lose it now."

'You dishonour yourself with this.'

'Honour?! Bah, what's honour got to do with being a ninja? We do the job no matter what, that is our way, to succeed at all costs. Kamogawa is a fool for clinging to old traditions, and so are the other council members who side with him, can't they see that the world they once knew died twenty years ago? But now your betrayal will shame him and make him lose face in the council, he will be forced to leave his seat and I will be there to pick up the pieces and take my place in…'

There was a flash of metal, and the first man screamed as something lodged itself in his hand, cutting off the tendons of his index and middle fingers, making him almost lose the grip on the knife pressed against the girl's throat. Before he could react and slice the girl's neck, he felt a hand on his wrist gripping it like a vice and yanking it away, his eyes opened wide in disbelief as he realised the 'pup' had, in that split second, managed to close the distance between them. The girl fell to the floor then and the men rolled down the stairs struggling all the way down. Then the sounds of struggle were replaced by muffled screams of pain and the sickening sounds of broken bones.

The girl looked down the stairs then, and for a moment she saw a young boy, tired and hurt, sighing with weariness, allowing himself a short moment of rest. That moment went by as fast as it had come and then it was gone. Fear took her again, but this time it was a different kind of dread. Not for herself, but for whatever could make someone this cold and harsh.

The last man standing walked out from the the darkness and made his way slowly back up the stairs again. The girl's parents were now embracing her. But she kept her gaze on him. Her father looked up from where he knelt with his family and with a voice trembling with fear managed to croak.

"Who are you?"

"Your best chance."

* * *

Master Kamogawa sat in the traditional seiza position, which considering his age was quite impressive in and of itself. He laid down his tea on the tatami mat and continued reading the book in the lectern by candlelight.

'It's all about presentation.' he thought to himself, 'one must give a proper image to those who look up to one.' Inwardly however and for the millionth time, he cursed the 'bloody' seiza position and wished for a comfy armchair to sit in, a room with proper illumination and a book with big characters which wouldn't make him squint as much at the ones he was attempting to read right now, but those wouldn't be as dignified, oh no.

He allowed himself a moment's rest to rearrange his legs from under him and thought about the reasons why he still kept up these appearances, it wasn't as if the guest he was expecting cared at all for these formalities and he was far too fed up and annoyed with most of the younger members of the clan to care about what they thought about him.

He should be here already, he was sure his guest was at this point within the grounds, having slipped past the posted guards. Perhaps he was simply waiting, aware of how much he disliked sitting in this position at this point in his life and having a little bit of revenge, and he had to admit he had good reason to feel peeved off.

He exhaled and closed his eyes, concentrating on his breathing and expanding his senses, probing every corner of the room trying to feel any presence and after a while he thought he felt something.

Not for the first time, Kamogawa felt amazed at the skill he demonstrated, he was a natural at obfuscating his presence from others, it was only thanks to the fact that Kamogawa had trained him and knew exactly what to look for that he was able to feel him at all. And he had achieved this level of skill in such a short time too.

"I know you're there, why are you just standing there without saying nothing like a dummy?"

"You should know. How are your legs?" said the much younger man coming out of the shadows and sitting down on the tatami mats next to Kamogawa.

"I see you're not above the occasional bit of cruelty."

"Considering what you got me into, this is a ridiculously small revenge. And it's your own fault for wanting to keep up appearances. First of all, the family, are they safe?"

"Yes, we got them out and honoured our original contract on them, what happened with Nagato was ugly, but needed to be done."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me, you've probably already figured out most of it."

He grunted in tacit agreement "But, what I don't understand however is the timing or the method, surely there were other more subtle ways to remove Nagato from scheming his way to the council."

"Yes but they would have taken time and he forced our hand, he was doing things which we didn't really approve, things that made even us nervous, so we gave him a poisoned apple that he couldn't resist."

"A chance to kill me and embarrass you publicly."

"Precisely, Fukuda was Nagato's man, but an honourable one, he respected you and would not attack you at the same time as Nagato, this we knew and also that you could best the both of them separately without a problem."

"And making me an outlaw from the clan by disobeying direct orders? Was that also part of the plan?"

"An outlaw, my dear boy? How can you be outlawed from the Iga clan when you were never a part of it in the first place?"

"Come again?"

"You never planned to stay in the first place, you joined the clan fully aware that when you left you would become a marked man."

"I needed to learn..."

"And I respect that, which is why we have done this."

"Done what exactly?"

"Expunged you from the records boy, as of today, you were never a part of the Iga clan."

"That's ridiculous, you can't just wipe the slate clean, there are laws about those who disobey orders and you can't...?"

"Of course I can't, not alone, but if all the council agrees. You see, no one really liked Nagato, not even his allies, now think about it, his defeat at the hands of an unknown novice who hasn't even finished basic training diminishes his status as a master of the martial arts. And one of the things that we pride ourselves is never going back on a contract we have already accepted, not even when offered a better deal, it's not only about honour, it's bad business practice. His lack of hesitation when accepting the counteroffer did not sit well with the rest of the council. When you consider both things he brought great shame upon himself and ruined his position. Since Nagato was a threat which you so readily removed we agreed to reward you by not hunting you down."

"And am I to believe that no one opposed such a move?"

"There were a few voices who disagreed, but when given proper motivation, they lost interest and became quiet."

"Why?"

"Why? I just told you that..."

"I heard and I don't believe it, completely deleting someone from the records to make it as if he never existed is unheard of. I betrayed the Iga clan, any benefits I might have earned for the council by Nagato's removal are secondary to that."

Kamogawa sighed and suddenly looked old, not just in body but in spirit.

"I have been a paid mercenary for most of my life, all I've ever done is conspire, steal, and kill for money. I'm an old man now and when I look back I can't see any legacy of which I can be proud of. Nothing, except perhaps you."

As he said this, Kamogawa laid a hand on the younger man's shoulder for a second, then there was a sudden flurry of movement, both men jumped to their feet, hands and feet whipped about, grabbed and parried, when they finally stopped, they were both grabbing each other, deadlocked.

"Only about one in ten would have been able to block me as effectively as you have, and certainly none in the short time you have been learning our arts. Do you understand what I mean when I say you are my best student?"

Then the old man smiled, he moved again and this time the younger man was on the floor and Kamogawa's right hand pointed like a blade towards his throat.

"However you are still a student. It takes years to master all our techniques, you've barely been four years, and already you are one of our finest warriors, better than many. But you're not yet a master."

"You're the best student I've ever had, and the purest. The fire in your heart burns the brightest I have ever seen, I know you are destined for great things. I would not have been able to look back and see that fire extinguished by a ridiculous need for vengeance."

"I still don't believe you have done this out of sentimentality, you are much too pragmatic to let affection overrule your judgement."

Kamogawa smirked and sighed, letting go of the young man and returning to a sitting position, although this time he sat cross legged. "And then there's that sharp mind of yours, always noticing things, looking at little details and putting them together to make sense out of everything. The truth is that we're letting you go free because we were told to."

"What? Who could force the Iga clan to do such thing?"

"These men can, you have no idea of the influence they wield. You have some very powerful friends boy."

"I have no friends."

"While I'd agree that these men are certainly not your friends, I know for a fact that statement is untrue." He said with a knowing smirk as laughter danced in his eyes for a second. "Even if you do think it to be true. What you also have is anger, a rage at the world, at its unfairness, at its lack of justice and even at yourself which fills you to your very core. A fire which was kindled thirteen years ago, isn't that right?"

The younger man remained silent.

"These men, they are capable of things I cannot even imagine, and no one has ever accused me of being unimaginative. And they have the power to see them through. So when we were contacted and told that they wanted you back... we were forced to agree. The Nagato thing was just something we came up with to explain your departure to everyone who would ask. Deleting you from the records has the added benefit of making you a taboo, so no one will dare to ask."

"You said back, back to where? Who are these men?"

Kamogawa looked at the younger man straight in the eyes, and his expression softened, there was a tenderness that was not there before. With a sigh he asked. "How well do you remember what happened thirteen years ago?"

"Everything, every detail, every sound, every smell, sometimes I wish I didn't. I still see it in my sleep."

"You remember the shots then?"

"I do, every single one of the three shots that killed my parents. Shot right before my eyes in a dark alley. They collapsed and bled to their deaths before my eyes and I couldn't do anything."

"Yes well, it seems that is not exactly what happened, you are mostly right of course except for one detail."

"Don't joke with that sensei. What are you trying to say?"

"Apparently not both your parents died that night. It seems that your father might have survived that bullet and be related somehow to those very powerful men. The fact that they were able to track you here despite being hidden among us should give you a clue of just how resourceful these people are."

Kamogawa reached beside the lectern picking up a plastic folder and offered it to the young man before him, but he made no effort to grab it, in fact he didn't even seem to have noticed it, and his eyes seemed to gaze at some point far, far away.

"I realise this is a lot to take in all of a sudden but. Here, these are some documents for you that were entrusted to us. They explain about what I just told you."

"Shinji your father might be alive somewhere in Tokyo-3"


	2. Chapter 1

He turned his back to the payphone and looked at the picture again. And once more he was reminded of Sera, the girl he'd known at boot camp during his first months at the Iga clan. She was funny, vivacious and overly flirty, she had been his polar opposite and had gotten him in more than a few troubles.

Something caught his attention from the corner of his eye and when he turned he saw a pale girl with long blue hair looking directly at him from the end of the street. A flock of birds nearby took flight distracting his attention and when he looked back she was gone

Then the world exploded and he saw the ruined wreck of a VTOL gunship burning down the street near the station he had just left and the green giant which had brought it down.

He stood still for a moment, his brain unable to accept what his eyes saw, a giant monster the size of a building tower was swatting down planes like they were flies. Secondary explosions from the crashed plane brought him back to reality and he thought about the men that might still be alive and trapped inside it. Before he could run to their help a blue sports car skidded to a stop right between him and the crashed plane.

From the inside a female voice asked.

"Are you Ikari Shinji?"

Misato Katsuragi, had finally arrived.

* * *

"So this is the boy?" Ritsuko Akagi whispered to her old college friend. "Not exactly what I expected".

Misato Katsuragi brought her lips closer to Ritsuko's ear and whispered with all the subtlety of a steam roller, "Neither did I, but then I had no idea what to expect. All they gave me was an old photo from from when he was fourteen, and he's really grown up since then. I had to ask him who he was when I found him, just to be sure, good thing he was the only one there or I would have never guessed."

Puberty had hit the thin frail boy like a freight train, that combined with the physical training and his father's genetics, had left him with an imposing physique. At 181 cm, he stood quite tall for a japanese. And despite her airheaded demeanor, Misato she was a soldier and a trained professional, she was trained to notice things and she had indeed noticed the way Shinji's chest bulked under the wide pilot jacket he wore. After their short ride in the car the only thing Misato was sure of, was that 'boy' was not an adequate word to describe Shinji Ikari.

"And whose fault is that? You're the one who got lost on the way there." Ritsuko chided her friend who had the decency to look embarrassed. "It's not that bad anyways, his facial features are still recognisable, he's just grown; a lot."

"Uhm, whispering doesn't work if you do it as loud as normal talk, also, I'm right here you know?"

"I guess you are." Doctor Akagi said addressing him directly. He noticed the stack of papers the young man was reading with earnest interest. "You've got your nose buried in the document briefing Misato gave you, find anything interesting?"

"More like unbelievable."

"Trust me," Ritsuko replied with a wry smile "you don't know unbelievable yet."

* * *

"So this is my parents' work?"

"Correct."

The answer came loud and high above him, like the voice of God, the obvious theatricality of it all was not lost to Shinji, as wasn't the elevated position from which a kind old man benefited him with a gentle smile.

"Welcome Ikari Shinji, to project Nerv, I'm just sorry that it couldn't be under better circumstances. I know you must have questions but unfortunately time is always against us."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Fuyutsuki Kozo. I'm the subcommander of Nerv, I knew both your parents when they were my students."

Why all this, the unnecessary drama leading to this, the redacted letter, the meager note which simply said 'come'. Why was he thrown into a dark room to stun him with the sudden revelation of a giant purple robot monster?

And where was his father?!

At first he couldn't believe it, a chance that his father was alive? After all those years thinking he'd lost everything that mattered, fate had chosen to give him some of his life back. But then he read the documents, the letter, almost unreadable from all the redacted blocks, the document didn't explain his father's current situation, neither did it make any attempt to explain where he'd been these last ten years, or why he had let him think him dead all that time, there were no answers in any of the papers he'd gotten.

He tried to recall the few fleeting memories he had of his father during those early years, it wasn't easy. It was mostly his mother who occupied his memories, it had been her who had spent the most time with Shinji, who had raised him and shown him the most love and affection. He remembered his father as a stern awkward man, who seemed uncomfortable with public displays of affection. A cold and distant man, there were however a few glittering memories he treasured of time spent together. He recalled a day at the beach when he was five, spent as a family at the insistence of his mother and the way they had played together. A camping trip at six during which his father had laughed a hearty laugh that Shinji had never heard before and rode on his shoulders while laughing as well. And a mere weeks before the murder happened, he remembered that rare afternoon at the park, during which his father had played ball with him under the amused and warm gaze of his mother. Precious memories of time spent together in happiness. Most of his parents' time was spent at the lab, experimenting, researching and building. He didn't know what it was they did, but he knew it was very important work, specially after second impact, he remembered his mother saying that it was research to save the world from total extinction. She'd taken him once to the lab and shown what it was they did there. He could not remember what he had seen, but he knew it had scared him so badly he had been crying long after leaving the building that day.

He focused his gaze on the man above, this stranger who claimed to have known and befriended both his parents. Was he supposed to manipulate him by representing the only link he still had available to them.

If so, he hated the fact that it worked.

"Why did you call me?"

"For exactly the reason you think."

"Is this why I'm here then, is that the only reason? To... to pilot this... this thing?! Why now?"

"Because we need you to do so."

Why me?!"

"Because no one else can."

There was silence then, a long pregnant pause until Fuyutsuki spoke again, in a kind but stern tone.

"I realize this a lot to take at once, but we literally have no other choice. Our only other pilot is; 'unable' to perform her duties. I really hoped it never came to this, and certainly not under these sort of circumstances. Fate however has a very cruel sense of timing."

"No." he whispered. "No!" he repeated but this time it was a scream. "This is insane, not to mention ridiculous. I know nothing about this; thing before me. I've had no training, no experience piloting it. This is supposed to be a… a giant humanoid battle form I believe is the correct nomenclature. But that's the extent of all I know about it! And yet, you seriously expect me to go out there and fight some sort of giant monster that brushes air-surface missiles like they were nothing more than farts?!"

Misato looked up at her subcommander. "He does have a point there" she said, and shrugged her shoulders.

The subcommander frowned in disapproval at his operations lieutenant, then returned his attention to Shinji. "I can't help but agree to everything you've said, but the circumstances we are involved in are rather extraordinary. Everything involving the EVAs is quite extraordinary in itself, not the least of which is their choice of pilots."

"They are picky machines, the EVAs" it was very subtle but Shinji managed notice the slight inflection with which Fuyutsuki had pronounced the word machine to refer to the EVA, like a professor telling something that he knows is incorrect, but is easier to comprehend. "We only know of two other people in the whole world that can pilot them. One is currently in Germany, as for the other one…"

There was a sound like distant thunder and the whole room shook. Kozo Fuyutsuki looked up to the ceiling, towards the surface. "Damn it, it's found us." He said.

There was of a heavy duty door opening, followed by the squeaky sound of wheels as a stretcher was rolled on the bridge . Then he noticed another sound he knew all too well. It was the sound of heavy pained breathing and it was coming from a girl of his age lying wounded on the stretcher, she tried to right herself sitting on its edge with obvious difficulty, her eyes closed from the exertion of simply assuming a sitting position and her face twisted with pain.

"You can see the state she is in." said Fuyutsuki from the skybox.

Shinji looked furiously at the grey-haired man above him. This had to be one of the most obvious and blatant emotional blackmails he'd ever seen. But what aggravated him all the more was that it worked perfectly. He could not ignore the suffering and pain of the girl before him anymore than he could ignore his own legs. The fact was, that as they spoke, people were dying.

Another tremor, this one much stronger than the previous one shook the whole room, and threw everyone around like rag dolls. The girl's stretcher was thrown over and she collapsed on the walkway. The supports of the heavy duty lamps hanging from the ceiling were damaged and fell right on top of Shinji.

The pink coolant in which the eva was submerged suddenly exploded as the giant robot's hand shot out of the liquid, raising itself over the walkway to protect Shinji from the heavy steel girders about to flatten him.

But Shinji wasn't there, none of the falling debris even came close to him, by the time the last piece fell he was already kneeling by Ayanami's side helping her up, no one had seen him move. He ignored the voices of the workers around him, and concentrated on Ayanami, trying to assess the extent of her wounds. She had her eyes tightly shut, and was barely conscious, all she could do was moan in pain between clenched teeth. He felt something wet on one of his hands and when he pulled it away, he saw blood covering his fingertips.

The blood of the girl lying in her arms brought back memories of that fateful night, as he stood there, kneeling on the pavement, watching the blood slowly drain from his parents bodies, unable to prevent it. Once more he was watching people die before his eyes and again he did nothing.

'No, not this time, not now, not ever again.'

With those thoughts in his mind he looked up at the booth and said.

"I'll pilot it."


	3. Chapter 2

Fuyutsuki opened the unassuming door and walked in a dirty cramped office. Absent-mindedly, he walked to a section of the wall and removing a panel from the wall, put his right palm against a handprint scanner. A few seconds later a beep, and a bookcase moving away to reveal a hidden; and very heavy security door unlocking itself, indicated that he had been authorized entry.

He walked past it and into the mausoleum that served as office for the commander of Nerv.

'The reports are in. You might find the results somewhat interesting'

'Are you referring to the fact that he remained firmly in control throughout the whole operation? That much was obvious'.

'Yes, and wasn't that surprising on its own right? But I actually meant his synch scores.'

There was a pause while Fuyutsuki waited for some sort of reaction from the man before him. After a while he gave him a look of annoyance as he looked up from the paperwork over his desk for the first time since he had walked in. 'And?'

'Guess.'

Gendo Ikari gave the older man a poisonous look. 'I will not indulge your games Fuyutsuki, either tell me or don't.'

'You're no fun, you never were anyway.' He sighed. 'They're unexpectedly low, in the mid thirties.'

'Hmm, yes that does seem strange, especially considering the skill he demonstrated during the battle. It is not however entirely unexpected'.

'So you already knew? And I expect you also have some sort of stratagem to deal with this unexpected deviation to your plans?'

'Not my plans professor, but to answer your questions. No; I didn't know, but I anticipated the possibility, although not under these particular circumstances. As for measures I have none for this scenario, nor do I intend to take any.'

'But the instrumentality project—'

'Is proceeding as planned, the pilot showed admirable skill considering it was his first time piloting the Evangelion, and the angel was destroyed—with prejudice I might add. The old men need not concern themselves with trifle details. '

'The preliminary psych reports are in as well. They are… inconclusive.'

'How so?'

'They indicate both a calm, even tranquil, state of mind and a surge of uncontrolled emotion, mostly rage; at the same time.'

'A storm.'

'What?'

'A hurricane if you will, it's center is calm and placid while the outside rages with wild fury'.

'Poetic'. Said Fuyutsuki, in the tone of someone who didn't think so in the least. 'Of course the psych report is constructed entirely from the data gathered during his time piloting the evangelion. They still need a proper evaluation with an interview '.

'Which they won't get'.

'Keel will not appreciate it.' And that's an understatement if I ever said one, thought Fuyutsuki to himself.

'What he doesn't know he needs not be concerned about. Akagi assures me the psych department can be counted on to perform as we deem necessary. Keel saw no need to place his moles in that particular section.'

'Are you going to lie to him?'

'Not lying professor, merely selecting the truths he should be told'.

'I'd advise caution, but then again… what we're planning, what we're doing…' he trailed off looking through the window at the gorgeous view of the artificial sunset in the underground complex of the geofront. 'Every step we take brings us closer to Hell.'

'Keel would disagree with you, it's paradise he aims for'.

'Keel can suck on my foot. He's a maniac. And so are you.' He paused for a moment, looking not at the scenery but at his reflection on the glass. 'And so am I.'

* * *

'How is he?'

'He seems okay, actually he seems too okay, I expected a bit more shock.' Misato Katsuragi told her friend Ritsuko Akagi over the phone about her newest ward.

'I still can't believe you took him in like that. And don't think I didn't catch you looking, even Maya sneaked a peek and she's… Anyway don't get any strange ideas.'

'Have some faith in me Rit-chan. I'm not some sex-starved middle-aged slut.' The next bit was mumbled between clenched teeth. 'With bleached hair.'

'What was that?!'

'Nothing important, anyway he seems very composed and calm, first thing he did upon setting foot in the apartment was complain about the mess, then made me help him clean up.' there was a short pause as Misato wondered about how he'd managed to do that. 'Then he took a bath and I think I might have seen him sort of naked.'

'WHAT?!'

'Don't shout, Rit-chan, it was perfectly innocent. He was just startled by Pen-pen being already in the bath, so he came out to ask me about him. He did have the presence of mind to cover himself with a towel though.'

'Why didn't you tell him about that damn penguin?'

'I wanted to see his reaction, I thought it might be funny. As it turns out it was a bit of a let down, he just walked out of the bathroom and asked matter-of-factly, why there was a penguin already inside it. Although I think he was more surprised than he let on, because he forgot to wrap the towel around his waist.'

There was a pregnant pause in the conversation.

'Well?' Asked Misato in a mischievous tone.

'Well what?'

'Aren't you going to ask me about it?'

'I hate you so much right now.' With a resigned sigh Ritsuko asked. 'How was it?'

'You could crack walnuts between those cheeks.' Misato said between giggles. She wished she could feel as light-hearted as she was trying to sound. While it was true that she'd had an eyeful, she'd been more interested in the little scars he'd seen all over his body.

'You are a horrible friend and I hope you end up marrying a piece of plastic.'

'Don't Worry Rit-chan, I have no intention of stealing your boyfriend.'

'You will pay for those words, I can assure you of that.' There was a tired sigh and Ritsuko Akagi changed her tone from playful teasing to a more serious one. 'So what you're saying is, he might be a bit shellshocked?'

'No Rits he's fully aware of what happened. He actually discussed the battle with me over dinner. He had an endless stream of complaints about the whole operation, calling it amateurish and as tactically sound as a Go Nagai manga. Which to tell the truth, it kind of was. He went on to describe what might have happened had everything not worked out just right.' Misato thought about her ward again, trying to pinpoint what irked her so much about him. 'It's just, you don't get into some giant god-killing robot everyday, but judging from his reaction, this might be just another Tuesday.'

'It's Thursday Misato.'

'You know what I mean, smart-ass.'

'I do.' Akagi waited for a second then asked. 'Will you bring him to the geofront tomorrow then?'

'I wanted to give him a little more time before going back there again. But I think he'll be okay, he even seemed eager. But try to keep the tests to a minimum, he did feel what it's like to have a red hot poker rammed through your skull earlier.'

'I'll do what I can, see you tomorrow then.'

'See you Rit-chan.' Said Misato before cutting the phone signal and replacing the terminal in the receiver.

Unfazed, that's how she'd describe Ikari Shinji's attitude during the whole day after being discharged from the hospital ward. He'd somehow fought a titan in a god-killing machine and less than a day later, had asked if he could use his status as a Nerv pilot to impress chicks.

What Misato hadn't told Ritsuko was that she thought it was all a lie, a façade he set up about himself. The one moment he'd gotten a sincere response out of him, was when he'd shown him the city of Tokyo-3 rise up from its defensive position. The intensity of emotion in his eyes had been almost overwhelming, yet tightly controlled. And then after she'd told him how he'd successfully defended it, complimented him on how well he'd fought, she'd heard him whisper under his breath.

'Not well enough.'

It had both endeared and scared her at the same time.

Shinji Ikari stood silently from his sitting position, behind the shadow of the unlocked door to his room and moved to the bed of the guest room.

He could only hear one half of the conversation but it confirmed his suspicions that Misato had a very close personal relationship with Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, head of development of project E. That could prove useful in the near future.

But Misato was wrong about one thing, he was not unfazed. He was appalled by the casualties, those he had not been able to save.

He thought back about the battle with the angel. It had been… weird.

* * *

'No Shinji!'

Shinji heard Misato scream for him, he heard the confused chaos in the control room. But there was nothing he could do. He could barely stay conscious through the haze of pain.

He'd just had a spike driven through his skull.

No, not him, he corrected himself, the robot, the Eva. The angel had pierced the Eva's head with its arm spike. But he could feel it too. They'd told him the evangelion responded to nerve impulses, he just had to think and it'd move. Nerve connectors and cranial interfaces. Yes, that made sense, the same technology that allowed him to control the machine allowed him to experience the damage it took as pain.

He concentrated on this, as a means to ignore the pain. He could feel blood flowing down his face, but it wasn't his blood it was the Eva's blood (why would a robot have blood?).

He saw the angel march again towards him and tried to move, but couldn't. The robot didn't respond to any of his commands. He was defenseless, he couldn't do anything.

Despair took him then, despair like he'd known only once before, when he'd just stood there and let it happen.

'So this ends just like it began, kneeling with blood all over me.'

Then he felt rise the familiar rage that had been with him all these years, the rage of the survivor, the rage of the victim, of the impotent that had vowed never to be any of those things again.

Only this time it was different, it wasn't just his rage.

No, this feeling came from the Eva.

And it felt as gigantic in proportion to his own as the Eva itself. A tidal wave of pure hatred that threatened to engulf him.

Why would a robot feel hate? He didn't know, but he realized this wasn't the moment to ask those questions.

He was no stranger to rage, he'd lived with it for almost every day since that fateful day 13 years ago. Sometimes it was so great that it threatened to overwhelm him. But through the years he'd learned to cope with it. Imposing his will on it. The trick wasn't to fight it but ride it, like the crest of a wave, using its momentum without allowing it to pull you down.

This would be the greatest wave he'd ever ridden.

* * *

"The Eva's reactivating!"

"I don't believe it! This can't be!"

"My God...!"

"Berserker!"

* * *

It was strange, thought Shinji, for all their immense size, the Eva's emotions were far more receptive than his own. He felt himself carried away, standing on top of a giant creature that responded obediently to his gentle prodding. He only had to suggest the idea of a kick for the Eva to mimic that very same action. It wasn't exactly piloting, rather, the Eva was piloting itself, listening to him for instructions on what to do through their mental connection.

He pondered for a moment on the implications of such a link before returning to the matter at hand. This wasn't the time for that. He'd already witnessed firsthand the destructive power of the angel, he had to neutralize it as soon as possible.

* * *

In the control room, Ritsuko Akagi realized how wrong she'd been before.

This wasn't a berserker rage, it might look like one, but it wasn't. There was rage of course, but it was expertly wielded like a blade. She didn't know much about fighting, but even she was able to see the economy of movement, the precision of the strikes. The tactical thinking involved in this battle. The Eva was trying to defeat the angel not through sheer brutality, but as cleanly and efficiently as possible.

And all the time it howled in rage like a beast.

'Shinji, what have you done?' She whispered.

The angel deployed its ultimate means of defense, the AT-field. Against the rampaging Eva it barely lasted a few seconds. It was ripped apart like gossamer. Ritsuko heard Misato shout "It broke through the AT-Field like it wasn't there."

Then all hell broke loose.

The angel suddenly became fluid, its flesh that had resisted even a N2 detonation flowed like water and wrapped itself around the Eva.

Or tried to, at least.

With miraculous reflexes, as if sensing the impending danger the evangelion managed to step back while thrusting a hand before it, that was all the Angel was able to wrap itself around. But the Eva wasn't done yet. Pivoting on its heel, it spun around with all its strength and executed a perfect pitch. The still fluid substance of the angel yielded to the centrifugal force and was thrown in the air where it detonated harmlessly to the evangelion.

Not so much, to the nearby buildings.

Then it was over, with the angel destroyed the rage disappeared almost as fast as it had come and the Eva slowed to a halt.

All there was now, was to wait, communications seemed to have been disrupted, perhaps a side effect of the detonation. Shinji tried to re-establish the comms system. Reasoning that if the Eva responded to thought, perhaps its systems were thought operated as well. After a few tentatives he managed to raise a holographic menu list. That was how he'd found the scans system

He'd ordered the Eva to do a full sweep of the area. Radar, heat imaging, sonar. Everything.

The results of the thermal imaging showed at least six cooling bodies and five small warm ones huddled around a larger one.

He'd felt his stomach drop then.

There was nothing he could do for the others, so he directed the evangelion towards the small group. With its rage gone, moving the Evangelion proved tricky. It reacted jerkily, refusing to obey his commands. He looked down and saw that the entire side of the building had been sheared, exposing its interior to the outside. In what remained of the lowest floor five kids were crying around a teenage girl whose legs were trapped under collapsed debris. The girl was terrified, that much was obvious, yet she put a brave front for the sake of the children. Telling them to remain calm and wait for the help that would arrive soon. Even going so far as to tell them to leave her there and wait under desks in case of any falling debris.

Shinji was impressed by her strength.

When she noticed the Eva heading towards them she hadn't hesitated telling the children to run and hide themselves in the building while she looked defiantly at the approaching purple giant.

He couldn't use the Eva to free her. Any attempt at delicate movements resulted in sudden twitches that would crush the girl. So he got out of the entry plug.

When she saw Shinji crawling out of it, her jaw almost hit the floor. He wondered what he must look like to her, getting out of the base of the neck of a giant purple monster and dripping with orange goo.

'W– who are you? What do you want? What is that thing? Did you just come out it?'

'Calm down, my name is Shinji Ikari and I'm here to help. What's your name?'

'I—I'm Suzuhara Sakura. I was with the teacher, we were with the kids outside when the alarms came, We couldn't get to the shelters in time so we tried to hide here… We lost her earlier in... that!' She pointed to the rubble that was the whole east side of the building and Shinji felt the rage rise once more inside him. Once more people had died around him and he'd been unable to stop it. He pushed that thought away and focused on the girl before him. The rubble had fallen in such a way that the beam lay across her legs but did not rest on them. There was some blood but not a worrying amount. If she was lucky enough her legs might still be in one piece.

'Okay Suzuhara-san, I'm going to help you get out of there.'

'What? Oh you're funny.' She tried to smile but only managed a grimace through clenched teeth. 'Do you think you're some sort of… newtype or something? That is a solid concrete beam.'

'Well who's to say I'm not? I just climbed out of a giant purple robot. I'm getting you out of here, trust me.'

'You're crazy, but I believe you. You just climbed out of a giant purple robot after all.'

'Good, but I can't do it alone. I'm going to lift this beam off your legs and when I do I need you to get out from under the rubble. Can you call some of the boys so that they can pull you out?'

She could and she did. The kids were scared at first but their desire to help outweighed their fear.

Shinji looked at the pillar, it looked heavy, and if he remembered the density of concrete correctly, on the verge of what he could lift. It also seemed unstable, and there was no telling when the rubble could shift and crush her legs. There was no time to waste. He looked at the beam, he knew he could lift it, if only for a few seconds but he didn't need more. He would not leave her there.

He braced himself as well as he could, told the biggest two kids to grab her by the shoulders and wait until he gave the signal and pulled on the beam.

The next few seconds were excruciating. He felt as if his shoulders were going to be pulled out of their sockets. So many things could go wrong, he could lose his footing, the rubble might shift and make things worse. He put those thoughts out of his mind and concentrated only on lifting the beam. His arms were of steel, his legs stone and he would lift the damn thing.

He heard a voice shouting 'clear!', for a moment he wondered what it meant, then his brain registered the words and he let go. Only then, did he notice the burning pain in his arms and shoulders.

The girl looked up at Shinji, a mixture of incredulity and thankfulness in her eyes. 'Thank you' she said.

He moved towards her to check the state of her legs, and she threw her arms around his neck as she repeated "thank you" again and again.

'You're welcome Suzuhara-san.'

After she let go he checked her legs. Her right leg was broken but not crushed, while the left one only had some minor lacerations. He dressed it up as well as he could and waited there until the emergency rescue teams arrived.

Then he was chewed for involving himself with civilian rescue instead of taking the Eva directly back to base.

He ignored it. Nothing they said mattered to him, only one thing did . He'd failed to protect those people. Men and women, had died because he hadn't been fast, or careful or simply good enough to do so.

He mustn't let it happen again.

He would need to learn how to pilot the Eva. Only then would he be able to protect everyone.

Only then could he make the city safe.

* * *

'It's a gun.'

'Actually it's a modified high-velocity, high-explosive shell, self-powered, portable cannon.'

'It's still a gun. I don't much like… guns.'

'You don't have to like it. You only have point it and pull the trigger.'

'Doctor Akagi, the last angel shrugged off surface-to-surface missiles as if they were light hail off an armored truck. Do you honestly believe a tank shell is going to make any difference?'

'It will if you neutralize the angel's AT-field.' Replied Ritsuko Akagi, a little more testily than she intended.

'Which I have to be rather close to the angel to do so.' Pointed out Shinji. 'Shouldn't we be focusing then in close quarters combat?'

'We would if your synch scores were any good.' Doctor Akagi snapped aggressively. 'Unfortunately with a 36 percent score you can't even begin to attempt the precise movements required for melee combat.'

'Last time I seemed to do rather well.'

'Yes, and we still don't know how. The best theory we have is that the trauma you suffered allowed you to connect on some subconscious level with the Eva. If you'd like we can stick a knitting needle in your eye every time you have to fight an angel. I'd be happy to oblige.'

'No need for that doctor Akagi.' Shinji sighed tiredly, aware that the good doctor would not accept any criticism to her training regime. 'I'm ready to begin the simulation.'

'Aren't we a little cranky today Rit-chan?' Misato questioned her long-time friend. Then because she couldn't resist, she whispered just low enough to be heard, 'did you run out of batteries again?'

'Unlike someone else I won't mention, I don't keep my last ten meaningful relations lined up in a drawer next to my socks.' She sighed. 'I'm sorry, it's just that we still don't know how he managed to do that the last time. It's very frustrating.'

'Well okay, but you don't need to take it out on him whenever he confronts you about targeting practice.' Misato looked through the window at the cabled evangelion and checked the monitor showing the virtual reality being projected in the entry plug's interior. 'You know what happened to him. It's only normal for him to be nervous around guns.'

'I know that, but this exercise will allow him to familiarize himself with the Eva, raise his synchronization scores, and still give him some offensive capabilities. I've explained all of this already Misato.'

Inside the entry plug Shinji aimed the rifle through clenched teeth. He felt the strange, muffled phantom feeling of a weight that wasn't on his shoulder but on the Eva's. He felt the pressure of the trigger on his finger as if through a glove.

It was almost too much.

He wanted to take his hand away as if he'd touched something repugnant, but he steeled himself, breathed hard of the lcl and looked through the rifle's crosshairs.

An image of the last angel appeared suddenly before him, he looked at it for a moment, unsure of what to do, then he pulled the trigger.

The kickback from the rifle could be felt through the Eva's armour into its sensory system underneath and transmitted to his shoulder. Akagi wanted him to familiarize himself with the feeling the weapon would have when used in an actual battle, not the approximate comparison of a computer simulation, so she'd fitted the rifle with gas filled casings that provided the same kickback as live ammo.

He found it sickening, but endured. Focusing on improving his accuracy, raising his synch scores. The sooner he became more proficient with the Eva the sooner he could leave these things behind.

Except that he wouldn't. Guns would always be the first choice weapons, they'd always push them on him.

He ignored it, focusing on the next target that appeared. He shot it right through the eyes, the next one got a bullet towards where he imagined the heart should be. The next one after that got not one but two shots for good measure. More images of the angel kept popping up, and they were promptly dispatched in the same manner. Two bullets, right through the heart.

He could smell the cordite, feel the kickback of the gun, he could hear his own scream as he saw his father fall down to the pavement, his mother shouting at the man who shot him, her own screams cut short by the two shots aimed at her chest, piercing right through her heart. He could feel the gun's weight as he pointed it at the only person left.

Himself.

'Shinji, Shinji! Can you hear me?! That's enough Ritsuko, we're aborting the simulation now!'

He was brought back to reality by the concerned screams of Misato.

'Shinji can you hear me?!'

'I hear you Misato, what's the problem?'

'You tell us,' cut in Ritsuko. 'Your heart rate just spiked, it went through the roof. Then you just kept pulling the trigger without changing clips or aiming or listening to anything we said.'

'I… I think I got a bit lost in thought earlier. I'm afraid I haven't had enough sleep lately, I must have dozed off or something.' Then he added 'It was kind of repetitive after all.'

'That's ok Shinji, just head to the showers and I'll take you to college.'

'Thank you Misato'. He said as he switched off the comm system and waited for the entry plug extraction procedure.

Inside the control room, Misato gave Ritsuko a questioning look.

'Any idea what just happened?'

Doctor Akagi frowned as she looked at the graph data from the neural connectors during the simulation and tried to come up with an answer to her friend's question.

'I guess he really hates guns.'

* * *

'Care to tell me what happened back there?'

'It was nothing Misato, just a minor distraction'

'Looking at a cute butt is a minor distraction' she snapped. 'What happened there was not minor Shinji, your heart rate went right up to hummingbird and your stress levels shot up through the roof.' She turned her attention for a moment to the road as she swerved the vehicle to avoid colliding with a car in front of them, while muttering softly about turtles on wheels who only did 90km/h on an 80km/h road.

'I'm fine, really, you don't have to...'

'No you listen to me, I know to you, I'm probably just the paramilitary bitch that forced you in the giant purple god-killing robot. On what looked, I'll admit, a lot like a suicide mission. But the truth is I care, and I'm not saying that only because we don't have anyone else to pilot the damn thing.' She paused for a moment allowing her words to set in. 'I also know what it's like to lose those closest to you. So, let's try that again shall we? What happened during the simulation?'

Shinji sighed, realizing she would hound him like a dog with a bone until he gave her an answer she was satisfied with.

'I had a… moment of unwanted recollection. It won't happen again.'

'Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes a sympathetic ear can go a long way to—

'No, thank you Misato, that won't be necessary.'

Misato drove the rest of the way in silence while chewing her lower lip.

* * *

'I'm free for the rest of the day, so if you want, just give me a call and I'll come pick you up when you're finished.'

'I'll keep that in mind. Thank you Misato.'

Shinji Ikari waved goodbye as the blue sports car sped away, threading itself through impossibly narrow gaps in the traffic. Once the car disappeared from view he turned around and punched a nearby wall hard enough to skin his knuckles. Pain shot up his arm as his frustration left a small but visible dent on the plaster.

He'd allowed himself to lose himself to his nightmares and fears. He'd suffered a mild panic attack, just from hearing the gunshots. No, that wasn't exactly true, he'd heard gunshots many times since. The difference this time was that it had been his finger on the trigger.

He couldn't allow this sort of weakness. If it were to happen during a fight. He needed an outlet for his frustration, the feeling of disgust and inadequacy. And there was only one way he knew how. His own personal brand of therapy, of a kind no sane psychologist would ever sanction.

But like everything else, it demanded patience and preparation.

* * *

Three days had been enough to give him a reputation as a womanizer around the university campus. Escorting the drunk girl to her home from the karaoke party gave him the perfect excuse, no one would think twice about his whereabouts. He'd even left a suitably ambiguous note on her nightstand, thanking the girl for the wonderful time.

Then he'd headed directly towards the docks. He needed to familiarize himself with his surroundings, learn the lay of the land. But more importantly he needed to see the enemy face to face.

Tokyo 3 might be a company town, built around Nerv to support it. But with the massive size of Nerv, the city matched its scale. With a budget as colossal as the Evangelions they built, some of that money was funnelled into the city, contributing to its explosive development. Of course whenever that much money was thrown around, it attracted people willing to do anything get their share of it, no matter what.

The yakuza were here first, already involved in real estate. The Chinese triads followed soon however and they in turn were followed by Korean Kkangpae. Second Impact had left the world's economy in a state of post-war reconstruction. Tokyo 3 was the most thriving, richest city in the world and it attracted crime like flies to an open honeypot. Crime-lords and common thugs who had seen their empires fall apart, drowned under the waves, saw the city as a chance to rebuild.

War was inevitable and soon broke out between the different factions. The Yakuza struggled from the very start to maintain any semblance of a control they never had, taken by surprise by the ferocity of the new arrivals. Soon after even more factions joined the conflict. Russian mobsters, Mexican cartels and even Italian mafia. The most ruthless and hardened men of the most notorious crime syndicates around the world, gathered in the same city, willing to do anything to carve themselves a piece of the pie.

Nerv remained wilfully oblivious to all this. In fact, there were rumours on the underworld that they encouraged it. Whispered conversation told of Nerv cover agents contacting the leaders of every faction, including them in their payroll. It was the subject of much debate, and considered little more than a fantasy, but the pay for moonlighting for Nerv was insanely high, too good to be true. And there were always some willing to chase this this particular pot 'o gold.

Then a shipment of particularly important parts was damaged in a gang shootout. The following day, every single person involved was found dead, more than a few in extremely gruesome ways. Some of the corpses showed a distinctive 'handywork', the killer's signature. The problem was that the police identified no less than six 6 different signatures.

The message was clear, don't fuck with Nerv's stuff, or Nerv will fuck you up!

He looked once more to the streets and the people in them. He was unequipped and unprepared and he didn't know the area or who the major players were. This would have to be just a reconnaissance mission. Infiltrate and get a good close look at the enemy.

But a part of himself prayed for trouble.

* * *

Lieutenant James Kitano had seen Tokyo 3 rise up from nothing, a shining jewel and a symbol of reconstruction after second impact. Only to see it sink in a quagmire of violence and crime.

Sure the more snazzy parts under direct Nerv administration were pristine. Everything was picture perfect over there. But the surrounding areas, the undeveloped lots and places under private and public administration, had surrendered to rampant speculation and corruption. Organized crime was one of the major problems this city had now, and no one cared. As long as Nerv got what it wanted, it didn't care how.

Which of course brought in the vultures, in droves, on both sides of the law. He'd seen corruption worm its way into every single level of the bureaucracy to levels only comparable to what he'd seen in his hometown. His father had been a cop in one of the most crooked cities in the whole of the USA. And like everyone else, he'd kept his head low and avoided sticking out. That was until some narrow and straight cop transferred (kicked out, according to some) from Chicago had tried to clean up shop. His father had idolized the man, he'd provided a reason for his father to feel proud of being a cop once more in that city. He'd even named his own son after him!

When he was seven, his father was killed in suspicious circumstances. At the funeral, the red-headed lieutenant whom his father had admired so much had tried to comfort his disconsolate mother. He remembered how his glasses had fogged up with tears and his moustache had trembled while he told his mother how sorry he was for everything.

Ten years later the waves from second impact hit and the city was abandoned. Reconstruction passed it over, it had spent nearly a decade as a No Man's Land before they even attempted to clear out the old damaged buildings. Nowadays it was little more than a small town surrounding the docks. A pale shadow of the glory it had once held, and the rats had long abandoned the ship. Some of them, had crossed two oceans and built new nests for themselves here.

And just like his namesake it seemed that he was doomed to be one of the few cops too stupid to look the other way when an unknown envelope was slipped in with his paperwork. It had caused him no end of trouble with his superiors.

He was once more destined to the graveyard shift, spending another mind-numbing night sorting out paperwork as a way to keep him busy and out of trouble.

He most certainly didn't expect to see four of the worst elements of the Chinese triad being brought into the station looking as if they'd tried to wrestle a bear. Now this he had to see. He stood up and walked to one of the officers escorting them to the cells.

"Shirou, aren't these the Lower Chinatown jiangshi? What on earth happened to them?"

"We're not sure, they're not really talking much. As far as I can tell, they were at the red lantern docks, drunk obviously and harassing some kids who really should have known better. Then somebody comes by, tells them to leave the kids alone. They tell him to go to hell and the next thing they know, they're getting their asses kicked."

"Wow, couldn't have happened to nicer guys. So who was it? The russians, the koreans maybe the yakuza out for a spot of revenge? With the kind of rep these guys have, I wouldn't be surprised if it'd been all of them."

"That's the thing Jim, apparently it was just one guy!"

* * *

Shinji walked through the streets of the wrongly named dock quarters, the name by which the crime riddled urban sprawl outside Nerv management was known nowadays, sporting a new complexion, two new scars and glasses with only one mirror lens. Details applied earlier and designed to draw attention away from the rest of his features. The more he walked the worse it got. First he'd been harassed by gangs of idiots calling themselves things like yaoguai, zmey or inugami at the housing narrows. Then he'd walked past junkies both threatening and begging help for their next fix at the Junji Ito memorial. At Toriyama park he'd walked by a city of cardboard while being followed by hollow eyes. Finally he'd reached the red light district, once a yakuza stronghold with luxurious massage parlors, it had been encroached by different groups with radically different ideas on how the business should be conducted and now made no attempt to disguise itself for the meat market it had become.

That was where he saw the girls, high schoolers, both of them, probably not even seniors, and who really had no business here. The days when a teenage girl could engage into 'compensated dating' safely were long gone, and the local pimps didn't take kindly to freelance competition. On closer look however it seemed like that wasn't the reason they were here for. At least for one of them who had the desperate look of a friend trying to help another from getting into trouble, only to find both of them in over their heads. What their actual intentions were was moot at this point however. Any men who saw a pair of, not unattractive, high school girls in this area would only think of one reason for their presence.

Including the four guys who were surrounding them right now.

He tried to ignore it at first. He was here strictly for reconnaissance, he wasn't supposed to engage the enemy yet, he wasn't ready, he wasn't prepared.

Then one of the men brought out a knife and put the blade next to the girl's face.

He almost sighed as he walked towards them.

* * *

"Wow, just one guy? Against these four bastards? Where is he now?"

"We don't know, he got away."

"Why? If he beat up these four assholes, with due reason too, We should give him a commendation, not arrest him"

"Well; Adachi was first at the scene."

"Oh!"

* * *

Shinji wiped blood off his lip and cursed himself. He'd underestimated his opponents skills and got a few bad hits for that, not least of which was a shallow slash across his left thigh. They were much better than he'd expected to be, specially considering that being half drunk didn't seem to inconvenience them at all. Not that they ever had a chance, but they still were very good.

Inwardly however he was coldly furious at himself, he'd allowed himself to be led by his rage and frustration from earlier. He knew he should have cut things short as soon as the girls had safely gotten away from the brawl. But he'd found himself unable to stop after the first punch, instead he pummelled them until they were bloody messes on the pavement. Taking long enough for a crowd to gather and the cops to arrive.

"Put your hands in the air!" the officer shouted while pointing his gun at him. Shinji did so wearily. His breathing came out heavy and tired, as he looked around himself at the mess he'd made of things. Then his attention focused on the officer aiming his gun straight at him. He looked straight into his eyes and saw the rage and the spite there, saw the tension on his jaw as it ran down his neck and up his arm towards his hand.

And he knew he was going to shoot him then.

He moved, an instant before the shot was fired, but not fast enough, the bullet grazed his right shoulder with enough force to make him pivot in mid air. He ignored the burning feeling on his shoulder and tried to break his fall. He thrust his left hand towards the pavement and tucked himself into a ball rolling away and dodging the shots that came next. He saw a discarded bottle on the floor and forced his right hand to grab it, ignoring the pain of his wound. Still rolling, he uncurled himself and faced towards his attacker. Then he threw the bottle with all his might. The lance of pain that shot all through his arm and the blood that spurted from his shoulder wound from the exertion, he could not ignore completely, but the thrown object gave him the few precious seconds he needed to right himself and disappear in a nearby alley.

"What the hell Adachi? He had his arms up, he wasn't doing anything, why did you shoot?"

"Shut up, he was about to, didn't you see? Besides, I've known bastards like that one half my life, probably some junkie on a power trip. I'm doing the world a favour by removing him from the picture. Besides if you had drawn your weapon he wouldn't have run away."

"You were playing wild west sheriff for the both of us there, I saw no reason to. Well aren't we going after him?"

"What's the point? I already shot him, he's not going to cause any more trouble tonight. Besides I hate running."

"Of course you do." said his partner as he got back into the patrol car and picked up the receiver. "Control this is unit 317, we've got four injured from a street brawl at the red lantern docks and one runaway perp. Send a van for dispatch, over."

The cop left the car and walked towards where Adachi was tending to one of the half conscious men and looking a little bit pale, which was odd. Adachi was a cold and phlegmatic asswipe who wouldn't lift a finger to save a granny from being murdered if there was no profit for him in it. Then he recognized the four men lying on the floor and let out an appreciative whistle.

"Oh my, The jiangshi brothers. I think someone's Triad connections are not going to be happy at all that the guy who did this run away."

* * *

As he painfully walked up the stairs towards Misato's apartment, all that Shinji could think of was how he was going to explain all of this to her in the morning. He didn't think that a story about an irate boyfriend was going to cut it, not with the bullet wound on his shoulder.

He opened the door and entered as noiselessly as he could. He must have been more out of it that he'd thought, because he didn't notice Misato sitting in the dark waiting for him in the living room.

The lights suddenly came on, momentarily blinding him and a furious Misato shouted at him from a chair. "Where do you think you're playing at you… OH MY GOD, What happened to you?!"

Despite knowing better, Shinji found himself unable to resist. "You should have seen the other guys."

Misato got off her chair and ran at him to see the extent of his injuries. He had a split lip and a swollen eye that would be black in the morning. His jacket was torn at multiple places. There was a blood-stained slash on his pants and…

"IS THAT A BULLET WOUND?!" She shouted as he grabbed his shoulder to take a better look at the injury, making him wince slightly. She let go immediately but moved in to get a closer look. Letting out a breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding when she confirmed it wasn't life threatening. "How the hell did you get all this?"

"Would you believe an irate boyfriend?"

Misato fixed him with a stare that actually managed to intimidate him. He could have sworn he actually felt the daggers she glared at him. He was so shocked that he didn't even notice the hand with which she slapped him until it hit his cheek, making his lip bleed again. Then she hugged him so tight his ribs complained. He didn't move though, it was kind of nice to be held like this, and not just because her breasts were being squashed against his chest. He didn't even notice that at first, he was more focused on the feeling of warmth, not just physical that emanated from her. She let go gently and he could see tears in her eyes as she pulled away. And for some reason, that hurt him more than anything else that night.

"Don't you dare laugh it off Shinji, you have no idea how scared I was right now when I saw you bleeding, no idea at all." She rubbed her eyes, drying them up. "And no, I wouldn't believe it. Because I know you wouldn't do that, and because you couldn't physically have cuckolded anyone tonight. I checked that myself."

"What?"

"That girl you took back home. Section Two saw you enter, never saw you leave and stopped caring. But since I know from experience those idiots can't be trusted to find their own butts with a map I decided to check for myself. You want to know how surprised I was when I broke into her apartment to find her snoring like a chainsaw and completely alone on her bed. The only evidence that you'd ever been there the note you left on her nightstand? Oh, and her clean hair despite the lingering smell of vomit in her bathroom. Here's a hint, zero, zilch, nada, rei. I was NOT SURPRISED AT ALL! I was however, quite angry and disappointed."

"You broke into her apartment?"

"Focus Shinji, you're the one with a bullet wound here. Now, tell me what happened tonight. And don't try to bullshit me!"

Shinji sighed, he realized the ruse was up, so early in the game too. With resignation he told her.

"The gunshot was a souvenir from a twitchy cop, probably crooked too if his willingness to shoot first and ask questions later is any indication."

"Why was the police shooting at you?"

"I caused a commotion in the Chinese part of the red light district. A couple of guys were harassing two high-schoolers. I told them to stop it. They didn't react well to that. That's what these are from." he pointed to his face and thigh. "Lucky shots, I thought they were drunk and went easy on them. They got a couple good hits before I realized they were seasoned brawlers."

"But why were you there in the first place?"

Shinji breathed deeply, this was the part that he knew would be the hardest to explain.

"To see the enemy."

"What?!"

"The enemy who's haunted every night of my life for the last thirteen years Misato, every single criminal scum with a gun who could point it at someone and end their life." He looked at Misato with a steely gaze. "They're the enemy Misato. I've dedicated my life to fighting every single one of them." He paused for a moment then kept going "I was angry for so long. Angry and lost. I didn't know what to do or how to deal with all this rage inside me. It was eating me alive Misato. Every day for the past thirteen years, I hurt so much. I hated the man who took everything from me. I hated my parents for leaving me behind. I hated myself for thinking that way."

"I didn't know what to do until 7 years ago. It wasn't that big or dramatic. There was this kid, fresh out of elementary, and there were these highschool bullies. And I just snapped. I threw myself at them, I was clumsy, weak and they beat me up. But I kept getting back up, I wouldn't stay down. I think I just wanted them to hurt me so that I could forget about the other pain. But in the end they were the ones who ran away. I suppose they wanted nothing to do with a guy who would bite their feet through their shoes."

"And they left the guy alone. And the way he looked at me, he was afraid of course, but also grateful. And when I saw that, when I realized I had helped him. Then it didn't hurt so much anymore." He looked up and Misato knew he wasn't referring to the pain from the beating the bullies gave him. "For a while at least."

"I run away the year after that. And have been training ever since."

"Shinji I don't even know… that is… I mean what you just said is…"

"Insane?"

Misato gave him a long hard exasperated look. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to, I realized it myself long ago Misato, I know I have issues, lots of issues. But this. It's how I cope. It might not be the best way, it might not be healthy. But I won't stop Misato, I can't stop. I'd have better luck stopping breathing than stopping from doing this."

There was silence then, And Shinji felt; liberated, he'd never ever been so honest with anyone else. He felt a weight lifted of his shoulders it felt good to share his secret with someone. Someone he could trust. And he trusted Misato, he was a bit surprised to realize just how much he did.

But there was the obvious elephant in the room of what to do now. Obviously as his superior she needed to report all this to Nerv command the question was, would she? If anyone could understand his need for vengeance, that was Misato.

She stood there for a while, her gaze focused on her hands lying on her lap, thinking about everything he'd told her, then she slowly raised her head and looking directly into his eyes she told him.

"Then you're going to need help."


	4. Chapter 3

"Stop squirming." Misato said in an exasperated voice.

"You're performing surgery on me and you gave me aspirin for painkillers. I think I'm entitled to a little squirming."

"Okay, first these are just a few stitches NOT surgery. Second, judging from some of these scars, It looks like this is not the first time you've been through this. At least I promise to do a better job than whoever botched this one here on your side." she said while pointing at a particularly messy scar on his right side just above his waist. She smiled at Shinji's embarrassed grumbling. Then she thought what kind of situation would have forced him to give himself stitches, making the smile disappear. She decided to change the topic "Did you know I was a corpsman when I enlisted?"

"Yes."

There was a short pause in the conversation then, during which, the only sound came from Misato as she worked her needle on Shinji's shoulder. Shinji's honest answer had caught her off-guard. She let out a tired sigh and tried, but failed to keep a note of anxiety from her voice.

"Really? And what exactly do you know?"

This time, it was Shinji's turn to sigh, he wasn't completely sure how she'd take this. But it was not worth keeping from her and he wanted to be honest with her. "You were a corpsman for fifteen months, until your sergeant got your squad caught in an ambush and a bullet through his head for his efforts. Your corporal broke down, and your whole squad would have been wiped out had you not taken command. You managed to turn the tables on your ambushers through your leadership and got your squad to safety with just that one casualty and two wounded. A month later you were promoted to sergeant and given command of your own squad."

"How do you know all that?" There was tension in her voice, her vocal chords sounded as if they were struggling against something and her shoulders shuddered ever so slightly.

"Your military records are public enough, that practically anyone can walk in the ministry of defense and ask for a copy. I had a much harder time finding out anything before your time at university. Every time I tried I hit a blank wall. Your past is is pretty well guardAAAH!"

"So you've been what; stalking me?" Misato said, there still was anger in her voice. But underlying that, there was a small sense of relief. He hadn't been able to discover anything about her teenage years, that part of her past was still hers alone. She cut the thread on the last stitch with a sense of finality that seemed to extend to the conversation itself.

"I prefer to think of it as being thorough." He said through gritted teeth. "Katsuragi-san, you were the only link I had to Nerv. I needed to know what sort of people I'd be getting involved with. Besides you did send me a photo of yourself showing off your cleavage."

"I did do that." She said as she started dabbing the stitches with disinfectant. "In my defense all I had to go by was an old picture of a 14 year old you. And you looked a lot more teasable back then. A lot more awkward and shy. There doesn't seem to be much of that boy left now."

"You'd be surprised."

Misato wasn't sure how to reply to that comment, so she ignored it "Well I'm done here." She said as she put away the first aid kid. "We'll need to come up with some story to explain you staying at home and away from Nerv and college tomorrow."

" I think it's best if we keep it simple and boring. Let's just tell them I'm hungover."

Misato made an unpleasant face, as if she'd unexpectedly bit on something sour. "I'm not too fond of using that as an excuse. Once you tell that, people will start spreading rumours about how Shinji Ikari is a drunken idiot."

"Precisely." he said with a conspiratorial gleam in his eyes.

* * *

A few days later Shinji visited a particular section of the Geofront Misato had directed him to.

"Mister Fox, may I have a moment of your time?"

The elderly black gentleman looked up from his workstation, with a bemused expression. "Well now, that's a surprise, usually most everyone calls me Fokusu-san, it's been years since I've heard anyone calling me Fox, let alone mister."

"I thought you'd appreciate it"

"And you were right, now what can I do for you Ikari-san?"

"Actually, I'm in the market for very specific gear. And I understand you're a man who knows how to get things?"

There was a pause as the elderly man eyes seemed for a moment lost in recollection. "There was a time," he said his stare still a thousand yards away, "where my job was not only to get things, but design and make sure they worked properly. Now, those days ended some years ago, after I was informed by Fuyutsuki-san my engineering services were no longer required. Not in so many words mind you." He turned his gaze upon the young man before him, focused on the here and now once more. "They even tried to make it sound like a promotion. Chief custodian of blueprints, designs and prototype models. What I soon discovered it really meant was that I was made the janitor of every single discarded and obsolete design ever made for Nerv. I'm the chief of a department with a total staff of one."

"And yet, you're still here?"

"I did sign a rather draconian non-disclosure agreement Ikari-san. Nerv likes to keep any and all information related to the evangelions pretty close to the chest." He let the silence hang on for a second before resuming in a more cheerful tone. "Now what is it you're looking for Ikari-san?"

"Back in the day we had all manner of teams working on all kinds of different designs for Nerv. Amazing work of engineering, not just the Evas, the geofront itself. We run into all sort of problems, not the least of which was transport to and from the surface. I helped design a couple of the conveyer systems myself. Of course many of those designs concerned the pilots as well. Ah, here it is."

They'd stopped before a large metal cupboard. Fox hit a specific corner on one of the drawers while pulling until it finally slid out.

"So one of those teams was tasked with designing the pilots' plugsuit with minimal instructions. The only thing they were told was to include a number of electrodes for medical monitoring. So they focused on safety. Triple kevlar weave, under a special kinetic absorbing polymer prototype and a nomex outer layer, the suit is tear, fire, and even bulletproof. Of course no one bothered to tell them how the pilot's plug would be filled with shock-absorbing LCL, which made the whole suit over-engineered."

Shinji had a good look at the suit of body-armour. Sliding his fingers over the smooth material. "Doesn't seem like such a bad idea to me, giving the pilots an extra layer of protection."

"True, but command thought the 35 million yen it costs could be better spent somewhere else. Besides, even I had my reservations that this suit would help much against anything able to hurt the pilot through the eva's armour-plating and the LCL . Now Ikari-san may I know what your interest in an obsolete piece of equipment, is?"

"You've heard of spelunking, Mr. Fox? Cave diving?"

"Spelunking, really?" said the older man in amused tones but worried tones. "Ikari-san, you're one of the three most important people in the planet, an Eva pilot. Your job description is already dangerous enough. Why would you knowingly place yourself in even more danger?"

"Mr. Fox;" there was a pause as he gathered his thoughts, "do you have any idea what it feels like to stand before a creature capable of destroying an entire tank platoon by itself without breaking a sweat?"

"Can't say I do."

"And until a few days ago I didn't either, but I can assure you, it was terrifying. I think the only thing that kept me from shutting down from fear back then was, paradoxically, how utterly terrified I was, if that makes any sense. It's not a situation I want a repeat of. So I thought that by placing myself in situations of controlled danger, I could cope better with a real one. That is, by giving myself little scares, I can better handle a big one."

"That seems, reasonable enough." answered Fox, obviously still worried and not entirely convinced but unwilling to press the issue.

"However Mr. Fox, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell command about these activities or the equipment I'm borrowing for…"

"Ikari-san, all of what you see here was designed and made for the pilots to use. You're a pilot, so as far as I'm concerned, you can use it however you want."

* * *

"Penguin one, this is shadow one, over"

"Loud and clear shadow." Misato spoke into the headphones' microphone from her car's seat. "I still don't understand why I agreed to do this."

"Because when I finally do something monumentally stupid, you'll want to be the first one to say 'I told you so'?"

"Partly, the other reason is to save your sorry ass, and how is this not monumentally stupid already?"

"This isn't stupid, just a bit crazy."

"Breaking into a triad base of operations full of their most cutthroat members. I'd say that was more than just a bit crazy." Misato's tone switched them from playful banter to a more concerned serious one. "Shi...adow one are you sure? I don't think this is a…"

"I need to test the new equipment, and I need to start gathering info on the upper echelons of the Tokyo-3 mob. As for the base of operations part. This is a relatively minor brothel and the triad members who run it are not high enough up the ladder, but not so low as to not know anything. It shouldn't be too heavily guarded."

"I know, we've gone through that already, but you know, no plan ever survives contact with the enemy."

"I know, I promise I'll abort if I see things might go south."

"Just try not to stop any bullets with your face, it doesn't usually work."

From his vantage point on the roof of the neighbouring building, overlooking his objective, Shinji packed away the binoculars with which he'd been monitoring the activity on the 'Pink Fortune Cookie'. Placing them in the small pouch attached to the small of his back on the survival suit. Committing to memory the position of the windows next to and overlooking any fire escapes, and those of the buildings nearby.

"I know," he said as he walked away from the roof's edge, "commencing operation, shadow one out."

In an almost inaudible whisper Misato said by way of goodbye "please be safe."

Shinji turned around and sprinted with all his might towards the edge of the roof, throwing himself off it. He landed on top of the building opposite the one he was on. Crossing the 6 meter divide to the slightly lower building with a wide margin to spare. A few seconds of lockpicking later he entered the building itself.

Traversing the building's corridors proved remarkably easy, the few guards that were posted in the different floors were either, half drunk, distracted with other concerns, or bored out of their minds and not paying attention. He made it all the way to the administrative office without so much as a mouse squeak. The door was locked, but that didn't stop him for more than a few seconds. He went inside.

"Penguin one, I'm in, I'll start looking for evidence."

"Try looking for any false floors or hidden drawers, that's where I'd hide any incriminating bookkeeping."

"True, but you're not an overconfident idiot working for the triads." Shinji said while looking at a large file cabinet, with one of its drawers half open. A quick look at the folders made it clear, that whoever worked in the office wasn't worried about secrecy in the least. The folders were marked with labels like 'hitjobs', 'meth', 'coke'. One of the labels had 'bitches' written in red ink. Somehow Shinji doubted it involved dogs.

He grumbled into his communicator, while he took pictures of the documents with a small low light camera. He spoke to Misato, more than a bit annoyed at the present turn of events. "This is almost disappointing and infuriating. I know the mob has this city's police in its collective pocket. But for them to be this blatant about it!"

"Yeah, I didn't expect it to be this easy either. They probably think they're untouchable" replied Misato.

"Which raises the question, what or who makes them feel so secure?" Shinji examined more of the folders in the file cabinet. There was something strange about the dates on some of the labels. "Hmmm, Penguin one, can you tell me how long has this place been operating under its current ownership?"

"Not really, let me check the police reports." The sound of rapid typing came through Shinji's ear-piece while Misato used her Nerv credentials to access the police reports from a mobile data connection. "Six years, why?"

"Some of these folders have dates going back as far as 10 years. Whoever their bean counter is. He's been doing their numbers for a very long time. Which means they trust him."

"What do you mean?"

"Find the accountant, follow the money, hit them where it hurts them the most."

"Smart, and dangerous, how do you propose to do that though?"

"For now, I'll just focus on getting as much of their bookkeeping as I can, I'll try to figure out his identity later."

There was a sigh of relief from Misato, and Shinji smiled under his skimask. She'd obviously feared that he might want to take on the whole building by himself. Not that she was entirely wrong, but she didn't need to know that.

Footsteps on the corridor warned him that company was incoming, he scrambled to find a hiding place. The office was too small and bare. Nothing he could hide in or behind. He looked at the open window and through it, there was no fire escape on this side of the building, no gutter pipe he could grab either. He looked up, and measured the distance, if he jumped up with all he had from the window ledge, he should be able to grab hold of the one on top of him.

He flexed his knees and jumped; his right hand barely managing to catch the ledge of the window right above the office he'd just left. He steadied himself and forced his body to hang from that awkward position, completely immobile, soon he became a barely visible lump in the building wall, hidden by the shadows.

The open window carried the sounds from the office directly towards him. Three men, judging from the sound of their footsteps had entered the room. One of them talking in a rather satisfied and loud voice, telling some amusing anecdote. "So anyways, he keeps crying and begging us to stop, that it was all his boss' idea, that he was just doing what they told him to, and that he won't ever even think of doing it again. So of course we hit some more."

"Hadn't you already broken most of his teeth already?" Asked a second voice.

"Which is why the whiny asshole should have known better than lying to us. It was his boss who told us the bastard was trying to deal without his say so, in our territory no less. So when he said he was just doing what they told him. Well I couldn't stand that bitch lying straight to my face."

"He really couldn't." said a soft-spoken third voice. "So by the time he's finished with the second beating, the guy's face looks like a bloody raisin and he's barely breathing. So we play the good samaritan and drop him off at the hospital. Literally drop him."

"You have to learn better self-control Wen."

"It wasn't my fault, that goddamn pastrami-brain was just begging to be hit. He had one of those faces, the kind that makes you want to punch it until it's inside out." said the first voice, now identified as Wen.

"It's true, he did."

"And from what you tell me, that's exactly what you did." said the second voice. "Point is, you can't go around giving in to your impulses like that all the time. You need to be more subtle." There was the sound of a chair being dragged and papers being handled. "You don't need to punch someone in the face to make him fear you. Look at Bei Fong, that guy would have made your idiot crap his pants before he even touched him."

"Well, Bei Fong, creeps even me out."

"And me. But he wasn't always like that, 15 years ago he was mugging wallets at gunpoint and not being very good at it."

"No shit, how did he change so much?"

"Had something to do with the guy he ran around with, they'd known each other for years. They were as tight as a jap and a chinese could be in this town. Best friends for ever, bros for life and all that crap. Well his bro got into some ugly business. Some kind of double murder, the thing made waves and upset some people at the top. They wanted both the investigation and him out of the picture. So they asked him to take care of it, quietly. After that, he became an ice cold bastard."

"Who was the guy?"

"Don't remember. Anyway, get me the shipping invoices. There was trouble with the latest import of fresh produce from the mainland."

"What happened?"

"We expected twenty, but only got fourteen. It's not that they didn't ship them, but that they arrived unusable or dead. And some of the fourteen we got weren't all that good either. The boss got really pissed and said that if that filthy korean thought he was going to pay for the full shipment he was higher than a kite. Specially since he paid twice the usual rate"

"Twice? What was in that shipment?"

"Really, really fresh produce, of the kind that's barely ripe."

"Really? Anything good?"

"Wen you keep finding new ways to gross me out. I didn't know you had those kind of tastes, and frankly I'd have liked to stay ignorant."

Hanging from the wall of the building outside the office, Shinji's muscles strained against the growing rage that threatened to overwhelm him. Every fiber in his body screamed for him to burst into action. The gloating and dismissive tone of the men in the room only made it more difficult to remain calm.

"But yeah, a couple of cute ones. It's actually a pity, I've got a twelve year old niece that's the spitting image of one of those girls. Breaks my heart, really. Ah, here is the invoice. It's quite a bit, if Hyung Sook doesn't pay the boss back the difference there's going to be trouble."

"So, you done?"

"Yes." There was again the sound of a chair scraping against the floor as someone got up and the sound of papers getting picked up and placed in folders, suddenly interrupted by a triumphant cry. "Yuu Chiru! That was it!"

"What?"

"The name of the guy Bei Fong used to hang around with. I remember now. Nasty business. A double homicide of a very high profile couple thirteen years ago. Yeah, Yuu Chiru!"

Then the window exploded inwards and a whirlwind of pure rage descended on them.


	5. Chapter 4

"You foolish, stupid **idiot!** What were you thinking?!"

Misato paced furiously around her apartment's living room, threatening to cut a groove on the floor. On the sofar in front of her sat a despondent Shinji, his face now bare of the ski mask but still wearing the armoured plug-suit prototype. His shoulders drooped with shame as his gaze focused on a spot of the floor between his feet.

"I thought you were going to simply be gathering intel. That's what you said to me. That you'd pull out if things got too hot. But no, you had to go all wrath of God on those guys, storm the building like you were some kind of one man army. It's a miracle you got out of there alive."

"Well," said Shinji in a low voice, trying and failing to meet her anger head on, "at least we know the suit works just fine."

"Three bullets, you got hit by _**three goddamn bullets**_. That's not how you test how bulletproof your body armour is Shinji! None of those should have hit you anyway, because you **shouldn't have been there!** "

"Actually it was two grazes, and only one direct hit." But there was no spirit behind Shinji's sass. He knew perfectly well all that was needed was just one bullet, one well placed shot to take him down. Yes the suit had worked but he couldn't rely on it. A weak point, a joint, a lucky shot, was all it'd take.

He'd screwed up and he knew it. He'd jumped through the office window like a hurricane and proceeded to wipe the floor with them. But he'd only started to interrogate the accountant about Bei Fong's whereabouts before the reinforcements arrived. He'd jumped them as well, unwilling to let this chance slip by and engaging them at extremely close quarters, taking advantage of the cramped space the door frame and the narrow hallway forced his opponents into. Shinji was confident he could disarm them before they could aim, and he'd been right, in the frantic struggle the pistols fired but failed to find their target. He'd just finished demonstrating the second man how painful a direct elbow to the face could be when he heard the loud crack of a handgun firing behind him. He'd turned on his heels then, and saw that the accountant had picked one of the pistols and was taking potshots at him. The only reason he'd missed was because the hand holding the pistol was shaking from the pain of a broken finger. A mistake he was correcting as he brought his left hand to support his right and steady his aim.

He stood for a moment there, like a deer before the headlights. This was his first clue in years, he might not get another chance, he had to learn what the accountant knew about Bei Fong, he couldn't let this chance escape…

This time the shot was expertly aimed, the pistol held with both hands and so close that he simply couldn't miss. The bullet hit him squarely on the chest, luckily enough, the best armoured part of the suit. Nevertheless the impact had been more than enough to throw him backwards out of the office and into the corridor knocking the wind out of him.

He'd run then, ignoring the burning sensation on his chest, down the corridor and away from the gunfire. One of the newcomers who was down but not out hadn't let go of his weapon either and started firing, the accountant joined in soon shooting from the doorframe. That had been when he'd been grazed, twice, by the pistol rounds. He'd dived past the corner and then with all his might crashed through a window onto the street. He'd barely avoided ending up a smear on the pavement by grabbing onto a fire escape railing

It had been too close, he'd landed wrong and hard, the suit's shock-absorbing polymer had taken some of the brunt of the impact, but he'd have some very nasty bruises, not the least of which, would be from the bullet shots.

"Don't joke around with that Shinji, don't you dare to! I have to ask you again, what were you thinking jumping those guys like that?!"

"I wasn't." He admitted, and he realized this was what he was most furious about. He'd gone in without a plan. He'd simply reacted to the name he'd heard. "I just, when I heard that name, I couldn't help myself Misato, I couldn't let it go. I had to do something!"

"Why what's so important about this guy?"

"Yuu Chiru was the man who killed my parents."

There was sudden shocked silence then, as Misato took this new revelation in.

"Oh, well that explains it." She said in much more gentle tones. "But you still made a mess of things Shinji," she continued, and some of the anger returned to her voice, "you have to be better than this Shinji, you _**need to be smarter,**_ what's the point of all this if you get yourself shot right off the bat?"

Shinji looked up at Misato, his dark blue eyes fixed on hers and once again she felt a shiver run through her back at what she glimpsed in his gaze. "I know." was all he said, there was no need to say more.

And Misato realized he really did.

* * *

He looked around him, panting and ignoring the ache all over his body, he felt like one giant bruise all over. A perfect chance to train his pain resilience. He'd decided to go running and had managed to do 11 kilometers before the pain in his chest and shoulder forced him to slow down to a walk.

He knew he'd screwed up.

He looked around himself, taking notice of the dessicated copse surrounding him, for the last 4 kilometers he'd gone off the road and started running cross-country, currently he was in the middle of nowhere lost in the inside of a small forest on the outskirts of the city. Dead trees that hadn't managed to cope with the sudden climate changes brought by second impact surrounded him.

He punched one of them and felt his knuckles bite into the dead bark and dent the wood.

Misato was right, he'd screwed badly, he'd allowed himself to become enraged, his anger had clouded his judgement, he made mistakes and almost got killed. It was just by pure dumb luck he was still alive.

He didn't deserve to be alive.

This was **not** , a game.

He lacked something, a system, a method, an edge. He needed to be something greater than himself, greater than a man. Something whose mere name would inspire fear in the heart of his enemies.

But what?

 **WHAT?!**

He felt the same anger that had almost ruined everything last night rise within him and decided to use this as an opportunity to practice one of the higher level techniques Kamogawa had taught him. One he had yet to fully master. It was simple in theory but complex in execution. In battle a warrior must always have a cool head at all times, anger muddles the mind, and an angry warrior makes mistakes. However in a real battle to the death fear and rage were inevitable. Rather than waste effort trying to suppress them, his sensei had taught him to channel that anger as fuel for his strikes, channeling it through his limbs and releasing it through his blows adding to their strength. A simple idea at its core, but difficult to realize. It needed a unique state of mind, tranquil but not detached, able to feel the rage in his blood but not letting it affect his decisions. As Kamogawa put it, let the anger flow freely through your body without allowing it to reach your mind.

Shinji still struggled to get it right.

He decided to try again, he concentrated, clearing his mind of everything, but the place on what he deemed to be a weak spot on the dead tree he'd been practicing strikes. He kicked it repeatedly, getting a feel for it. Then he let his anger slowly pour into his blows. The heel of his foot biting a bit deeper with every strike. He paused for a second, took a deep breath, focused his will on a precise spot and put every bit of his rage and resentment behind this one kick.

Had anyone been around, His scream of pain could have been heard for over a mile.

* * *

"Well you did quite a number on your ankle, but it's just a sprain, keep your weight off it for a few days and it should be right as rain."

"Thank you Misato." Shinji said as she finished taping the bag of ice around his now swollen ankle.

"Now will you explain to me why you were out there further injuring yourself instead of resting in your bed after being shot at?"

"Bed rest doesn't really agree with me, and I felt restless," he said in a low tone that at least had the decency to sound slightly ashamed (although Misato had the nagging feeling that that was purely for her benefit). "Besides it was just bruising, nothing that would force me to stay in bed."

"Is that it? Really? You weren't happy with how badly you were hurt so you went out to hurt yourself some more?"

He sighed. "The sprain was the result of a botched attempt at practicing a kick. I miscalculated the angle and put too much force behind the blow." He looked up from his foot resting on a chair before him directly into Misato's eyes, and for a moment he felt a pang in his heart. Her angry frown as she looked down on him with her arms crossed over her chest looked so motherly. He wondered if his own mother would have looked at him in a similar way after he hurt himself after doing something stupid. "I wasn't trying to hurt myself Misato, it was an accident, honest."

There was real chagrin in his voice now, and Misato noticed it. Her frown relaxed into a tired smiled and she uncrossed her arms.

"All right, I believe you, but you'd better believe you're grounded Shinji, until that swelling goes down, you're not leaving this house, understood?"

"Completely." He said.

She looked down at him, still concerned, not sure if his meek agreement came for real remorse or simply because it was easier than arguing with her. She decided it didn't really matter. "You'd better, but I'm not letting you out my sight nevertheless. You are going to rest whether you like it or not" she smiled a bit more warmly now "I'll make some tea, and we can watch some movies if you want to. Is there anything you'd like to see?"

He smiled "Actually Misato, I do. How do you feel about masked Mexican sword-fighters?"

* * *

"So how is he?"

"Being a handful Ritsuko, that's how he is."

"You're regretting your decision to take him in, I take?"

"Yes damnit! But the constant supply of beefcake flavoured eye-candy sort of makes up for it."

Ritsuko threw a her old friend a glare that if looks could kill, would have gotten her a life sentence. She exhaled tiredly and continued.

"I heard he got hurt, _again_. What happened this time?"

"From what he told me he was playing ball, he was running without looking where he was going and didn't see the ditch before him until he fell in it and sprained his ankle." She snorted loudly then "Honestly I think he was lying."

"Really? Why would he do that?"

"Because he probably doesn't want to admit that he was running away from some angry boyfriend after he tried to pull the moves on his girl. The ditch part I believe, but I don't think he fell, he was probably thrown in."

"Bit of a womanizer is he?"

"You have no idea."

* * *

"Congratulations on being discharged Ayanami." Said Shinji holding a delicate bouquet of blue daisies.

Rei Ayanami looked up from her wheelchair to the young man standing before her blocking the doorway of the hospital room she'd been confined to for the past weeks, seeing the flowers in his hands she raised one eyebrow quizzically but said nothing aside from an exasperated sigh.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit you yesterday, I had some slight health problems myself." Shinji said trying to engage the rather sombre blue-headed girl.

"So it would seem." she replied, directing her gaze to his feet and noticing how he kept favoring his left one. She then looked at the flowers he was carrying. "Why do you insist on bringing these unnecessary baubles every time you visit?"

"Well, the blue roses were the first ones you didn't throw away. I figured I'd struck something with them."

"Their colour was entirely insubstantial. I only kept them because your incessant floral offerings kept getting more bothersome each time. I hazarded that keeping a small number of flowers would satisfy your incomprehensible need to gift me with these trifles and stop you from turning my room into a flowery jungle." she then let her gaze wander over the many vases spread around the room holding blue flowers, occupying practically every free corner of the room. "It seems to have worked only halfway. You still bring flowers with you every time you visit, although thankfully, they're small bouquets now."

"Well, I was raised to believe that it is bad manners to arrive at a beautiful lady's room without some sort of token of appreciation."

"Your knowledge of social interactions is woefully antiquated and completely inaccurate in this case. Now please stand aside."

"Yeah about that!" Shinji smiled and stepped forwards circling Ayanami's wheelchair, giving the bouquet of flowers to the orderly and replacing her at pushing the wheelchair. The orderly took the flowers with a smile and disappeared with a wink of encouragement for Shinji. "I thought I could be the one to take you back home, we can use this as a chance to get to know each other outside the hospital."

* * *

"Really?! Ayanami?! He'd have better luck at a man-hating lesbian convention." The blonde woman said between puffs of cigarette smoke.

"From what he's told me he sees it as a challenge."

"Robert Scott said the same thing about the south pole. Boy's about to get burned."

"Maybe, but what if…?" Misato said mischievously.

"No, there's just no way that's gonna happen."

"Care to make a little bet?"

Ritsuko narrowed her eyes as she glared dangerously at her old friend. For a few seconds she just sat there in complete silence looking at Misato behind a haze of smoke.

"You're on!"

* * *

"I can walk perfectly, it's my arm that's injured not my legs. You did not need to pick me up like you did."

"I thought it'd be fun. Anyway you made your feelings abundantly clear on that matter." Shinji said while rubbing her cheek still stinging from the hard slap she'd given him after he'd scooped her from the wheelchair when they'd reached the parking lot in a princess carry.

"It would seem your idea of fun is vastly different from mine."

"I hope not, because then you're going to hate the rest of the afternoon."

* * *

"You actually lent him your car?! You never lend your car, it's like your baby, you almost bit my head off once after I dropped some cigarette ash on the upholstery."

"Well, I guess I just trust him to be a good baby-sitter." Misato said with a far away look. "But if I find a single scratch on her…"

* * *

"You are exceeding by 60 kilometres per hour the established speed limit, and I could have sworn there wasn't enough space to pass between that truck and family wagon."

"True, I bet Misato would be proud."

"You're insufferable, I did not survive the prototype test malfunction only to die in a traffic accident because of your reckless driving." Said Ayanami, her knuckles white from the strength with which she was grasping the handlebar above the door window.

"Don't worry, any ticket we get is going to Misato, it's her car after all."

"I do not care about who gets a speeding ticket I care about getting out of this car alive!" Ayanami shouted her voice screeching with a mixture of rage and frantic fear.

Shinji chuckled as she slowed down to acceptable speeds, though still above the marked speed limit. "Finally I managed to get an emotion out of you besides mild contempt."

"If you wanted to get in my good graces, driving me around with suicidal intent is not the way to do so." Her voice was now back to that low disinterested whisper she had grown so familiar with, although there was a clear note of relief in it.

"It's a first step, besides now I know for sure you were lying."

"Excuse me, why would you call me a liar?" replied Ayanami offended at Shinji's comment.

"Because you **do** care if you live or die."

Ayanami snorted indignantly and turned her head to look out the car's window indicating that the conversation had ended on her part. But then muttered to herself, too low to hear over the noise of the car's engine.

"I guess I do."

* * *

"You said you were taking me home, what are we doing here?"

Shinji stepped out of the car and swiftly walked around it to open Ayanami's door and help her out.

"Well I know you're studying at the university as am I." He said as he offered his hand which was quickly shoved aside. "We even happen to have a few lessons together. I thought I could give you a chance to show me around or vice versa." As soon as Ayanami was out of the car she began walking purposefully away from the parking lot and towards the university buildings, Shinji followed in her wake. "Not to brag about it, but even though it's only been a few weeks I think I've acclimated quite well to the place. You're looking at the current big man on campus. Everybody loves m…"

A furious scream cut across the background noise surrounding them.

" **IKARI!** "

Ayanami halted and turned her head towards the source of the scream as did most of the students around the public plaza. The screamer was a tall black haired boy stomping towards Shinji in an extremely angry manner. Ayanami looked towards Shinji out of the corner of her eye and saw that he'd stopped beside her with a puzzled expression on his face.

"You're Ikari Shinji, aren't you?" The newcomer asked when he reached them. "You're the one that pilots that giant purple monstrosity?"

"Uhm, well yes, yes I do pilot the Evangelion 01, why do you a…?"

Upon hearing the confirmation to his question the tall lanky boy punched Shinji in the jaw.

It wasn't a particularly good punch. There was no real weight behind it. It had been thrown only from the shoulder, without any pivoting at the waist or heels. It was an amateurish punch and Shinji saw it coming from a mile away. He stepped back to dodge it before realizing that Ikari Shinji, ladies man and dilettante was a lover not a fighter, and that easily side-stepping this punch might give that away. He caught himself at the last second as he realized he had to take the punch.

Unfortunately his attempt to dodge meant that he'd actually inadvertently placed himself in the worst possible position, a fist originally aimed at his cheek now connected with his lower chin, at the precise angle to throw his head to the side and rattle his brain. He went down hard on his hands and knees as everything seemed to lose focus around him for a moment.

At least he didn't need to fake being hurt, he thought in-between cotton filled thoughts.

"That, is for almost killing my sister." said the black haired young man towering over him, then he threw his hands out towards him. Shinji still dazed found himself unable to avoid them. To his surprise the hands actually grabbed him from under the shoulders and helped him get back up, then they joined together behind his back as his former assailant gave him a heartfelt hug.

"And this, is for saving her afterwards."

"Wait what?" Shinji was confused and not only from the effects of the punch to his jaw which were beginning to clear. The unknown assailant took a step backwards and bowed formally to him as far as his waist allowed him to.

"My name is Suzuhara Touji. Do please forgive my former rudeness, me and my family are forever in your debt. If you ever require anything, I will be more than happy to help you, no matter what."

Having said that, the boy turned around and walked away as suddenly as he had arrived.

"Ok, what on earth did just happen?" Shinji said honestly confused as the last cobwebs cleared from his head.

"Strange way to show his appreciation to the big man on campus." Ayanami said sarcastically.

"Don't let what happened with that idiot confuse you Ayanami-san, Ikari-san has become really popular here." Said a voice next to them. They both turned to see a freckled brown haired glasses wearing young man. "Name's Aida Kensuke." He said "and even though it might not be the most fortunate thing to be right now, I'm that big fat idiot best friend." He then bowed in apology in the same manner Touji had done previously. "Please try to forgive him, I tried to talk him out of it, but his sister means the world to him."

"Please stand up Aida-san, now would you please explain to me what happened here?"

Kensuke looked up and straightened himself as he looked Shinji in the eye. "His sister is the girl you rescued from the wreckage after the battle with the angel. It was hard on him, seeing her sister in the hospital. Truth is, I think he blames himself for not being there to protect her. He was incredibly frustrated and just needed someone to blame. That someone was you." He paused for a second before continuing with a sad look on his face "He knows it's not your fault of course, it's the angel's. But knowing that your anger is misplaced and letting go of it are two completely different things."

Shinji looked towards the disappearing boy's back, realization dawning on his face. "I can relate." He mumbled under his breath, too low to be heard.

"That aside, I don't think that was the main reason he punched you." Kensuke continued with a somewhat amused grin. "His little sister seems to have developed somewhat of a hero worship for you. Every time he visits she talks about your oh-so-gallant rescue, and then a week ago she found out you were attending university here. She's been pestering her brother ever since to give you this." At that point Kensuke took an envelope out of his jacket's pocket. Shinji took it gingerly while Ayanami looked on with an amused look on her face. "So you could say he's a little…"

"Jealous?" interjected Ayanami.

"I would have said wary, but that's probably true as well. Besides it doesn't help that Ikari-san has garnered quite a reputation on campus already." He turned back towards Shinji "Seeing you accompanying the campus' ice queen was probably the last straw."

"Ice queen?" he asked looking at Ayanami who didn't quite manage to hide her amusement at the events before Shinji looked at her.

"Oh Ayanami has got quite a reputation on campus as well, she's had dozens of suitors, the closest any of them has ever gotten was a dislocated arm."

Ayanami shrugged her shoulders as a reply to Shinji's questioning gaze "I gave him fair warning of what would happen if he insisted. He didn't listen."

"He hasn't tried anything else, or with anyone else for that matter." Kensuke chuckled. "Anyway I understand how you'd not be in the most receptive of moods right now. But his sister would the happiest girl on Earth if you could simply reply to her thank you letter. Nothing fancy, just a get well soon would do, something to let her know you've read her lett…"

"I can do one better." Shinji interrupted "Will Suzuhara-san be paying Sakura a visit today?"

For a second, Kensuke's face was blank, then a sly smile spread across his face. "Can I be there when you tell her what he did?"

"That almost sounds interesting to see." Ayanami said.

"Oh I doubt there will be enough left to fill a matchbox once Sakura's done with Touji."

"That's not… I wasn't planning on telling her anyway."

"Don't worry, he dug his own grave, if you don't tell her I will." he said chuckling "If you want to come with us we'll be leaving around four o'clock to visit her. She's at the…"

The sudden wail of the angel-attack alarms interrupted Aida mid-sentence.


	6. Chapter 5

Fuyutsuki walked into the office-slash-mausoleum of the commander of Nerv with a spring in his step. The sun was shining, birds were singing, the fourth angel had been hacked to bits and best of all. He'd been able to capitalize on the angel attack and obtain lots of wonderful data for his more private research.

"The results are in. And again the idiots at psych have no idea how to interpret them. They act pretty much like cavemen before a computer."

"What does the data show this time?"

"A lot of it mirrors that of the third angel battle. The readings again indicate that he was both calm and enraged at the same time. But this time the fluctuations are quite literally off the scale. They're attributing those to interference from the two idiots of course. He did achieve a sustained synch score of more than 60%, although the down spikes bring the average down to below 50%. Again they're saying that it's due to the other minds present in the entry plug."

"And your professional opinion professor?"

Fuyutsuki smiled, it was a strange smile and weirdly enough reminded Gendo of a shark's. It didn't reach his eyes, and showed too many teeth

"My educated guess? I'd say your son bullied the evangelion into submission."

* * *

Misato walked in the NERV command center, buttoning the neck of her jacket for the umpteenth time.

"What have we got?" She demanded of the closest technician in a serious tone, all levity and playfulness gone from her voice without a trace.

"The Magi detected it 20 minutes ago, it confirmed a blue pattern. It's an angel! Codename Shamshel"

"And the pilots?" asked Misato with just the barest hint of anxiety on the edge of her voice.

"Just arrived a few minutes ago on the geofront, Shinji is currently being prepped for sortie."

"Good that's one less thing to worry about."

She took a step back letting the recent news wash over her as she assessed the situation. The time between the 2nd and 3rd angels had been practically 20 years. Now the 4th was making an appearance barely a few weeks after the defeat of the third.

"Give me all the info we have on the angel, stat!"

"We've got visual, surveillance cameras outside the city, patching it up to main screen."

The main control room screen filled with the image of the newly arrived angel.

"That!" shouted Aoba, the long haired technician "looks like a giant purple di…"

"Don't you say it! Don't finish that phrase or the angel will be the last of your concerns."

Aoba shut up while everybody else stifled a laugh and pretended to be engrossed in whatever it was they were doing.

"Damn it", she thought "I need a cigarette!"

* * *

"Alright Shinji, just like we practiced in the simulations, wait for it to get close, use your EVA's own AT-field to counter the angel's then unload the whole magazine on its face."

"Does it even have a face it looks more like a gl…?"

"Don't you dare sass me now Shinji, this is too important"

"Right, shutting up now Misato."

"Pick the rifle and take cover."

The armour plates on one of the nearby buildings slid down to reveal one of the pallet rifles he'd been practicing with the last few weeks. Shinji took it, his disgust at the thing had not diminished at all, but now he was able to cope with it. There hadn't been any more incidents like the first one. Holding the weapon, he took cover behind a bunker building, waiting for the angel to enter his effective range.

"In position" he told the command center.

"Good, wait for my signal to fire" replied Misato.

Shinji waited in silence, satellite imagery as well as radar readings and cctv cameras fed to the command center were relayed to the comm systems in the entry plug, he could see the Angel advance slowly towards his position, his fingers twitched slightly on the control yokes.

"Open fire! Now!"

Shinji spun as fast as he could moving out of cover and firing the rifle at the angel while sending out the Eva's AT field to counter the angel's own.

As fast as he could however wasn't very fast. Despite the constant practice, his synch score reached a sustained 39% on a good day. Moving the EVA felt like wearing a heavy suit of armour with rusted hinges. As a result his movements lacked fluidity and were more akin to jerks and spasms.

In spite of all this he did rather well, managing to break cover and start firing the rifle in one single motion. The main problem was the AT field. He had little idea yet of what it was or how to make it work. It was just something he could feel coming from the EVA. Like static electricity all over his skin. Something that instinctively could be made to serve as a shield. Using it to neutralize an enemy angel's own AT field was something different. He'd been taught the theory, but he hadn't really had a chance to put it to the test.

Until now that is.

Shinji kept the finger on the trigger, firing on full auto until he felt the ammo clip empty. A few missing rounds struck the building immediately behind the angel, causing a cloud of debris and smoke to hide the angel from view. Shinji changed the clip while he waited for the smoke to clear and check what damage his former attack had done to the angel.

He'd seen some of the shells hit the angel just before the smoke covered it. He'd made sure to push with his AT field as much as he could in the way that Akagi had instructed him. He'd felt the strange and eerie tingle on the back of his scalp whenever he manipulated the AT field.

He'd been halfway through the clip when he felt something else. The tingle changed and became a small feeling of pressure that grew in intensity. Shinji cursed. Despite his best efforts, the angel must have reformed its AT field.

There was a flash of light and movement and he instructed the EVA to dodge and roll. The giant knelt just a fraction of a second before an energy whip sliced right where he was a moment before. The roll was clumsy and made him let go of the ammo clip he was loading.

A sudden pain burned across his back as the angel's energy whip sliced through the EVA's armour as he rolled. He ignored the pain and struggled to stand up as fast as he could. The smoke had cleared and he had now a clear view of the angel. A depressingly small number of pockmarks cratered the creature's skin, of those even fewer oozed a purple ichor. Worse, he could see how most of those holes were closing already. The angel could heal itself in a matter of seconds. The tentacle whips struck out again this time aimed for his neck.

The EVA raised its right arm and attempted to summon an AT field on its left side. Shinji could feel the pressure of the angel as it tried to do the same thing he'd done earlier and negate his own AT field. One of the tentacles coiled itself around the EVA's upper arm, cutting through the armour like it was wet paper and sending a burning lance of pain to Shinji, the other tentacle struck against a feeble hexagonal, orange field, that broke apart the moment it was hit but managed to deflect the strike aimed at the EVA's neck. Shinji ignored the pain in his arm and assessed the situation. His rifle was empty and thus useless and the angel had him trapped. He couldn't step back to avoid the tentacle that was coming back even now.

So he stepped forward.

He brought up his left arm holding the rifle and used it like a club to hit the angel on what looked like its head.

In the command center of Nerv, Akagi flinched. That wasn't how you used a pallet rifle, and the damn things were expensive.

The rifle broke apart, but it did the trick. The angel fell back and Shinji felt the tentacle coiled around his right arm let go. He pressed his advantage and taking another step, punched the thing in its red core with everything he had.

A tiny crack appeared in the surface of the red orb and the angel screamed, a high pitched scream that pierced right through his ears and into his brain, disorienting him for a second. He tried to hit it again but before he could, he found both tentacles wrapped around the EVA's forearms. He felt the pain as they burned off the armour plating and on to the bioengineered flesh underneath. Then the coils glowed a pure brilliant white and he felt his whole body convulse in pain, as a huge discharge of energy flowed through the EVA. He gritted his teeth and tried to fight through the pain, concentrating on strengthening his own AT field. He focused it around his arms, picturing it like gauntlets around them. That way he might be able to diminish the effect of those whips.

It worked to an extent. The pain lessened somewhat, but before he could do anything else, the angel threw its whole mass forward like a battering ram and headbutted the EVA right in the chest. Shinji felt his own chest collapse, and then he was flying. The angel had let go of the EVA and it flew through the air thrown by the massive impact. Shinji felt himself falling painfully and messily to the ground. He tried to bring his breathing under control and cursed the EVA's resistance to his commands, wishing he could react a bit faster.

Still on his back, Shinji saw a glowing pink whip heading for his head. He extended one hand forward and tried to deploy his own AT field. The energy field shattered like glass when it was struck, Shinji felt the feedback of the overpowered AT field, a jolt not unlike when you discharge yourself after rubbing your feet on the carpet. It did its job though, the whip bounced off the force field, and sliced clean through a building with the recoil.

He heard Misato shouting over the comms. "Shinji fall back, get another rifle and shoot it from a distance, you can't fight it in close quarters, it'll rip you to shreds!"

Grudgingly, Shinji was forced to agree.

Unfortunately the creature seemed to know that as well and wouldn't let him gain the distance he needed. The whip came down on him again and he willed the EVA to move as hard as he could. It rolled to the side and barely avoided the whip which left a deep gouge in the already abused concrete he had fallen on.

Warning lights and alarms sprung to life and he saw a countdown start.

"It sliced clean through the power cord! Shinji you have to get clear and to another plug now!"

He completely agreed with Misato but it was easier said than done. He tried rolling again but only succeeded in crashing into a building. The whip came down as he struggled to stand, only managing to get the EVA into a crouch. He threw out his own arm again, visualizing the AT field around it like an armoured gauntlet. The tentacle coiled around his arm as it glowed white and cracked through the energy field to reach the arm under it. Shinji ignored the pain of the feedback and pulled his arm back as hard as he could. Using it as a tether to right himself, he stepped in and threw the EVA's weight forward trying to headbutt the angel's core.

Unfortunately Shamshel saw through this and slithered to the side avoiding Shinji's full body slam. With nothing to stop him now, Shinji tried to add even more momentum before he inevitably lost his balance. He stepped in once more and kicked with all he had at the concrete under his foot, cracking it. He jumped forward throwing the EVA in the air and tried to roll but landed badly hitting the ground hard. It didn't really matter since he had achieved what he intended, put some distance between himself and the angel. He scrambled to get up as fast as he could and reach the nearest power plug.

Unfortunately he'd underestimated how fast Shamshel could move. He felt a tentacle coiling around his ankle as he tried to stand. He felt his ankle being pulled up and the world went upside down as the angel held him suspended in mid air.

Then everything started to spin as the angel swung him around and threw him into the nearby mountains.

* * *

"Why the hell are we here?"

"Because you'd feel guilty if something happened to me. And you already feel guilty for what you did earlier and think that exposing yourself to danger just like Ikari is doing will somehow account as a form of penance."

Touji grimaced at Kensuke's know-it-all tone. "So it's all your fault. Then why are you here in the first place?"

"Me? Because I'm a crazy risk-taking daredevil, of course." He said as he recorded the fight with his videocamera. The thing might be ancient by current standards, but the lenses were of excellent quality and it had an extremely powerful optical zoom, which he was putting to good use right now.

Touji threw Kensuke a glare and considered whether to leave him alone to receive his imminent and well deserved Darwin award. In the end he decided that he couldn't let his best friend face almost certain death alone. He looked down at the city were the battle waged.

Can't see very well from here. But it doesn't seem as if Ikari's doing all that great.

"He isn't, it looks as if the rifle did next to noth… oooh that's gotta hurt" Kensuke said as he saw the EVA flying backwards from the angel's headbutt.

Touji squinted his eyes trying to get a better look at the angel. "That thing looks like a giant…"

"Ikari's in trouble, that thing is on top of him and won't let him a moment to breathe."

Touji's eyes grew wide as he saw the pink tentacle slice clean through a building as if it was made of paper.

"Oh dear, it cut the cable on the EVA's back" said Kensuke.

"Is that bad?"

"I have no idea, but I suppose it's there for a reason. It's not looking good for Ikari."

No, no it wasn't and Touji couldn't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to face a giant electric-tentacled alien eel hellbent on killing you. He felt even more guilty now, blaming Ikari for not being a good enough pilot. He looked on as Ikari planted the robot's face on the ground, but still scrambled to get up again.

"Oh no!" said Kensuke.

Oh no indeed, the angel had grabbed of the EVA's ankle and was holding it upside down. Touji was reminded of a fisherman inspecting his capture. The angel then whirled around and threw the EVA high into the air.

The two youths stood there with mouths open wide, looking at the giant robot fly high in the air, then slowly begin its descent. It was then that Touji noticed something.

" **It's coming right for us!"**

* * *

Shinji landed hard and badly. He felt the impact even through the cushioning of the LCL and felt the wind (or liquid in this case) knocked out of him.

He was momentarily dazed and at first couldn't make out what Misato was saying, or notice the two red dots on his proximity alert screen. A second later, his focus came back and he realized what was going on.

"What?" He shouted at no one in particular "Are those two idiots doing out here?!"

"Shinji, can you hear me?! Don't move or you'll crush them!"

"I hear you Misato, just let me…"

A shadow fell over him and Shinji looked up to see the angel standing over him. How did it get here so fast? That didn't matter now, the whips spun around gaining speed and preparing to strike again. He had to do something or those two idiots would die. Without thinking he threw his hands forwards and met the whips as they fell down towards him.

He gritted his teeth through the burning sensation in his palms. He needed to do something and do it fast. Those two weren't safe out there, the safest place was…

"Inside the EVA!" came Misato's voice over the two way radio.

Shinji was confused for a second before he realized that Misato had arrived at the same conclusion he had and smiled.

"Shinji we're going to let those two in the entry plug, do you copy? You'll need to keep the EVA…"

"Do it already Misato, we're wasting time."

The entry plug went dark and Shinji felt his connection to the biological titan diminish but not entirely cut off and concentrated as hard as he could on keeping his hold on the energy whips crackling in his hands. Then he experienced the odd sensation of feeling the entry plug slide out of his own spine. The hatch opened and moments later the two idiots whom he had almost landed on top of were inside the plug, shouting about drowning.

"Shut up, you're not going to drown. It's oxygenated, you can breathe it." He shouted at his unwanted guests "We've got bigger problems to deal with now."

The entry plug returned to its original position and powered up again. With a titanic effort he pushed the angel away from him and stood up.

Misato was shouting for him to retreat back to the city, find a power plug and re-engage at a distance.

But he knew it was pointless, he'd never make it back to the main buildings, the angel had him exactly where it wanted, with his power supply cut off and isolated from any power sources. He'd never be able to reach the city before the angel engaged him keeping him away from a new power plug. He had to finish it right here, right now.

And he had to do it in two minutes and 36 seconds.

The problem was the EVA wasn't collaborating and it was frustrating. Once again he tried to recall how he'd managed to get the EVA to follow his commands last time, to find the clue that would allow him to synchronize better with the damn machine.

But all he remembered was the searing white hot pain in his eye, and then… he'd despaired.

A sensation he was experiencing once again, he felt useless, ineffective. He hadn't managed to increase his synch ratio, he hadn't been able to become a better pilot.

And because of that, people were going to die.

Then he felt it, a slight nudge, a ghostly sensation from somewhere else than the entry plug, a response from the EVA.

Could it be that it was despair it reacted to?

He closed his eyes and focused his mind on remembering that fateful night, when the world had suddenly come to an end, and everything he knew stopped making sense. The day his life had been over.

The EVA surged forward like a hungry fish pouncing on bait.

Then Shinji let all his anger and resentment, all his years of rage at that one night loose onto the now exposed presence of the EVA. It recoiled as if in pain, trying to retreat, going back to wherever it was that it hid. Shinji breathed in frustration, this would not do.

'Please,' he thought at it, 'Help me.' It paused for a moment, but the presence from the EVA was uncertain, scared and more willing to hide than help.

But they didn't have a choice or time. "If you don't." Shinji said out loud. He opened the floodgates just a tiny crack, letting the consciousness have a taste of 13 years worth of accumulated anger and sorrow.

It screamed silently, the echoes of its shriek resounding in his mind. It panicked, it was afraid, terrified of the white-hot boiling rage locked away behind the the steel doors of Shinji's will. It wanted to escape, to return to the isolation of its core where it couldn't be hurt. But Shinji refused to let it get away, whatever it was, it was the key to controlling the EVA. He poured out more of his fury, targeting it at the presence. Capturing it in a flood of wrath. The presence could not use words, it had no capacity for abstraction. But it knew hate, it knew pain and it knew fear. And right now it grovelled, begged Shinji to be let go of the bitter hate that bound and burned it.

And Shinji offered it release, at a price.

In the main control room, Maya noticed the sudden spike in synch ratio.

The evangelion came to life once more.

Shinji opened his eyes, 2 minutes and 14 seconds.

Just enough time.

"I'm sorry Misato." the evangelion sprinted directly towards the angel. "But I can't do that. There's no way it'll let me reach a power source in time."

An energy whip lashed out towards him, he threw out a hand creating an AT field that made the whip bounce off. The second whip aimed at its legs found only air as Shinji made the EVA jump high in the air.

"You two, this is a thought controlled giant robot" as he shouted to his two stowaways he made the EVA spin in mid air to deliver a roundhouse kick to its head that sent it sprawling a hundred meters away from them. "Which means I need you to either stop thinking at all so as not to interfere with me." He managed to land the EVA in a crouching position and reach for the progressive knife on the shoulder fin in one single fluid motion. "Or concentrate on one single particular thought and nothing else."

Both Angel and Evangelion stood up and faced each other.

"Beating the living crap out of this thing!" he shouted as he rushed the angel once more.

The increased synch ratio made movement much easier, no longer he had to fight the EVA for control. It responded to its merest nudge. The AT fields still broke upon contact with the whips, but they bounced back with greater force than ever. He weaved and ducked, deflecting the lashing strikes when he couldn't avoid them. Getting in as close as possible and lashing out himself with the knife. Deep ichor bleeding gouges began appearing on the giant creature's flesh. And it screamed in pain whenever he sliced it.

But even then, Shinji knew that he'd run out of internal battery charge long before he could kill the damn thing with his knife. Not only that, already he noticed the blade stressing from the heavy use he was putting it through. It'd break soon enough.

The core was the key, destroy the core and destroy the angel.

He allowed his right arm to be caught by the angel's tentacles and then, he pulled with every bit of strength he could muster. The ground gave way, but the angel was pulled towards him in the world's largest game of tug of war.

He took a step forward and raced to meet the angel's mass, his left arm holding the knife rose towards the red sphere in its midsection, the tip pointing directly towards it. A whip hit him right across the face, he ignored the pain and focused on driving the blade point where he wanted to.

The knife struck true and the tip penetrated the hard crystalline sphere. Sparks shone around it as the metal cut its way in. Momentum drove it as the weight of the angel forced the knife to dig further. Shinji screamed, as he concentrated on pushing the knife into the core.

Then the blade broke.

The angel took advantage of this to retreat. It was in a lot of pain, and if Shinji had to guess, very very angry.

Touji screamed when he saw it. Kensuke shouted that they were going to die now.

"No one is going to die." said Shinji calmly. He looked at the timer.

27 seconds, he'd be cutting it a little close.

He rushed the angel one last time. Its energy tentacles targeted him once more, but this time they shot forward like lances instead of gaining speed like whips.

He hit one of the flexible lances with the flat of his hand, successfully deflecting it. In a follow-up of the same motion, he grabbed it, he would not to let go of the damn thing. The second tentacle lance however, he couldn't avoid and it speared right through the EVA's abdomen.

Pain shot right through him, he'd just been speared in the guts, it almost stopped him right in his tracks.

Almost.

He looked at the timer, 21 seconds left.

Yes, definitely close.

He rushed forward pouring everything he had into moving the EVA even faster and jumped. He pulled on the tentacle he still held in one hand bringing himself closer to the angel and ignored the burning white lance of pain in his gut. It didn't matter, nothing mattered, except this instant right now and the kick he was about to deliver.

The heel of the EVA's foot struck against the broken end of the blade sticking out of the angel's core, driving it all the way inside and, splintering and cracking it in half.

The angel screamed and thrashed for a few seconds then lay still.

Shinji looked at the timer, 12 seconds left.

"Are you guys ok?" he asked looking back at his two passengers. None of them answered, they'd only gotten a small fraction of the feedback Shinji received from the EVA, but they'd still felt the whip burning through their guts and were in shock. Fortunately Kensuke still had the presence of mind to frantically nod his head.

"Good, that's good then." He returned his attention to the control yokes and the comm screen to his side. "Misato… I'm sorry but, I don't think I can take the EVA back to headquarters, I'm afraid I'm just going to leave it here and take a rest."

As the last of the reserve energy went out and the entry plug went dark. Shinji closed his eyes, let out a deep sigh and slumped on the chair.


End file.
